Monday, August 2, 2010

Harry Potato and the Worthless stone - IX

To read Part - VIII, click here.

The next day, Harry, Pong and Hermione were at Horrid's hut. Pong knocked on the door.
The giant flung open the wooden door and said "Hey guys,"
"Hi Horrid. We were wondering if we could talk to you about something."
"Sure. But I won't be sharing any candies and my chocolate cake."
"Okay."
Hermione smiled. Harry and Pong weren't happy though.

"Okay, so what do you want to know?"
Horrid spoke with cake in his mouth.
"It's about Professor Escape. He's been trying to get past that three headed clown."
"Hey,"
Horrid was surprised. "Who told you about Clowny?"
"Clowny?"
Hermione screamed. "That thing has a name?"
"Of course it does. Everyone has a name. So, I decided to give it a name too. I brought him at a Circus. They were forcing the poor guy to juggle. I gave him a piece of this chocolate cake and he followed me,"
Horrid pointed at the cake.
"But Professor Escape said mean things to Harry."
Hermione interrupted.
"Like?"
"Getting sucked into a Vacuum cleaner."
"I was about to say that..."
Pong said.
"And then there was the swallowing a dust ball and ending up being French fries."
"Again, I was about to say that. He even stared at me."
Pong added.
"What does that have to do with saying mean things to Harry?"
Horrid demanded.
"I had to say something,"
Pong looked up. Horrid, Harry and Hermione ignored him.

"Anyway,"
Harry said. "Why do you need a three headed clown in a school?"
"Listen to me. All three of you,"
Horrid cleared his throat. "What that Clown is guarding is strictly between Professor Dumpydoor and Nicholas Smell."
"What kind of a name is that? And who is Nicholas Smell?"
"No more questions. Now, leave. I've got to finish this cake."


Harry, Hermione and Pong left Horrid's hut. Harry kept wondering who Nicholas Smell was while Pong was thinking about the Chocolate cake.
Hermione looked at Harry and said "You should go to the Library and look for Nicholas Smell, Harry."
"I am scared of the dark. Why don't you guys come along."
"You're a real Potato. Nobody will recognize you."
"Even though that doesn't make any sense, I'll go."
Harry said.

That night, Harry found himself in the library. After looking for Nicholas Smell everywhere, he managed to find a book. It spoke about why Nicholas had got that name. It said - Three years of avoiding a bath, he deserved that name. So kids, remember to take a bath.
Harry searched everywhere. All the books spoke about Nicholas Smell not taking a bath. None of them had anything about the thing Clowny was guarding.

Finally, harry left the library disappointed. He was now lost and couldn't find his way back to the Dormitory. He kept walking and arrived at a large classroom. This particular room was never used. It was dusty. But propped against the wall was a huge mirror.
The mirror looked like it didn't belong in that room. It looked as if someone had just put it there to keep it out of the way.

Harry moved nearer to the mirror and stepped in front of it. It was a reflection of a Supermarket. There were shelves on both the sides. The shelves were filled with vegetables. Most of them were potatoes. In between them were two odd veggies. There was Broccoli and Spinach. To his surprise, harry found them waving back at him.

"Hello Harry."
there was a voice from behind. Harry jumped and fell on his back.
"Why did you scare me,"
Harry looked at the man. "Professor Dumpydoor?"
"Sorry about scaring you Harry. So, you have found this Mirror too."
"Sir, I was just,"
Harry said.
"So what do you see in it, Harry?"
"A Supermarket with lots of potatoes. I forgot to tell you earlier,"
Harry said. "Saving the potatoes was my job. But, I..."
"You forgot about it and got on the train to Togwarts."
Professor Dumpydoor smiled. "I am glad you did Harry. There was a huge potato sale that day. The people at the Supermarket might have picked you off the shelves. You're a real Potato remember?"   (to be continued)

Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Art Lessons

My mom wanted her sons to be swimmers. One of those sons hated water and pretended to be allergic to it. So, the other was forced into swimming. Unfortunately, that was me.

After the horrible
Trip to Water Hell, my mom signed me up for Art lessons.
She stood near our car and looked excited "Guess what? I just signed you up for Art Lessons."

Those two words were enough to scare a seven year old. I ran around our front yard screaming. My mom caught me after five minutes of chasing.

"Okay. That was a good chase. Now let's go."


We arrived at a white building. There were many women by the Parking lot. They were my mom's friends and were waving at our car. My mom was going to wait for me until I got back from the class.
I walked in with my backpack. With me were a few more kids. All being forced into something called Art.


After walking around for a few minutes, I found a seat and set all my paints on the table. A guy arrived. He looked at all of us and said "Hello kids. Welcome to your art lessons. For the first lesson, you can draw whatever you like..."

I started painting. Mr. Art teacher kept walking around and commenting on everybody's art. Finally, he arrived at my table.

"That's a really nice painting of..."
he stared at the paper for a few minutes. "a dog holding a stick in his hand and blowing fire from his mouth?"

"Actually, that's a dragon. See, he's destroying the city here and that's a building in his hand. It happens to be the place where my neighbor works."

"Oh, okay."
Mr. Art teacher was shocked. He looked at my painting again and said "Very good. You may continue."


After one hour, I was done with my painting. Mr. Art teacher wanted everyone to bring their paper to the front. I was really excited to show him my finished art. My turn arrived and I walked to him with it.

He looked at it closely and said "So, you've added a few more buildings at the back and... a huge cow?"

"That's not a cow,"
I smiled at Mr. Art teacher. "It's a dragon. He was called by the first dragon since there was a lot more to destroy."

"Alright. And what's with all these monkeys?"

"These are people running around. If you look closely, there is one man holding a banner."

He looked at the drawing closely and read out the lines-


HELP! My Office was just eaten by a Dragon. Now, another Dragon is headed to my house. I wonder who told them about me.

Mr. Neighbor


"So, you were the one who told them about Mr. Neighbor?"

"Exactly..."
I smiled at Mr. Art teacher.
He handed my drawing after giving it a C and drew a grumpy expression on it.

"Now, I want you all to draw a flower. Remember to make it colorful and use only light shades. Alright, begin..."

Mr. Art teacher again decided to walk around and comment on paintings. He arrived near my table and screamed "Oh my god! What hideous thing is that?"
"That's the first dragon holding a flower."
"And this ugly head?"
he pointed at the corner of the paper.
"That's the second dragon peeping inside the picture. They are giving this flower to Mr. Neighbor as a gift."


Everything that happened next took place in slow motion. Mr. Art teacher set down my drawing and looked at me "The dragon in this picture looks like a huge bird that's not been eating for a year. Son, you'll never be an artist."
The last part was enough to make me upset. That triggered my seven year old hands to pick the paintbrush and paint Mr. Art teacher's face.

I was escorted out of the building. Mr. Art teacher's face was all colorful. He handed my mom the drawings. Then, he gave us looks and left.
My mom had planned on showing my drawings to Mrs. Neighbor. After looking at the banner, she knew it wasn't a safe thing to do.

Image Source:
Google Images

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Show And Tell : The Secret

Show and Tell was there again. Mrs. Yells at me was really angry after what I did with Spongy Man.

She stared at me and said "Can you please give a nice Show and Tell this time?"

"Yes!"


Mrs. Yells at me wanted me to go first this time "Alright, you can begin."

"Today for Show and Tell, I have this,"
I held out my clasped hands.

"Why don't you open your hands and show the class what you've brought."

"No! Today for Show and Tell, I refuse to show what I've brought."

"Why?"
Mrs. Yells at me was surprised.

"There happen to be many reasons. But all I can say is, I refuse to talk about the thing in my hands."

"The idea of Show and Tell is to show the class..."

"In my hands is a mystery,"
I interrupted her. "This mystery will haunt you for the rest of your puny miserable lives. In my hands is a Secret which you will never know. You may beg or cry and even give me chocolates as a bribe. But NO! You guys will never get to see it."


"Well,"
Mrs. Yells at me had huge eyes now. "You may sit down in that case. Thank you for that wonderful Show and Tell."

"I am not done yet. As I was saying, I'll keep this secret away from everyone and hold my hands clasped this way forever. Nobody will know what's in them. Including the President."

"The president?"
Miss Big Help sounded confused.

"Yes. I will later bury it somewhere safe so that nobody can have a look. And even if I show it to people, I'll never let you have a look, Miss Big Help!"

"Hey,"
she yelled.

"Can you hand it over..."

"No!"
I interrupted Mrs. Yells at me again. "I won't bury it. I'll throw it far away in Space. That way, it will take astronauts millions of years to find it. This day will be remembered for when all you kids including the teacher never got to see the secret in my hands. This day will also be remembered for the Show and Tell that was never shown or told!"


Mrs. Yells at me was really angry. She came over and asked me to hand over the secret. I didn't want to. So, I ran. She chased me around the class and after five minutes of screaming, panting and yelling, I was caught. She opened my clasped hands.

The kids behind were all cheering. Everyone was expecting something really huge and shiny. But they were in for a shock when Mrs. Yells at me picked the secret from my hands and showed it to the entire class.


I was in the Principal's chamber. Mr. Principal wasn't happy. He stared at the secret. It was placed on his table. My parents were called and as always, they were stunned.

Mr. Principal looked at me and said "You did all that to keep a pebble in your hands?"

"That's not a pebble."

"Oh yeah, this is a white pebble."
Mrs. Yells at me added.

"I should have listened to Agent 17.3 and Agent 16.2,"

"What's he talking about?"
Mr. Principal asked my parents.
My mom looked like she hadn't heard a thing and my dad blurted out something.
"I'll tell you,"
I said. "Agent 17.3 and Agent 16.2 are aliens. They handed the white stone to me this morning and said that nobody's brain was as advanced as mine. They had warned me that your eyes could only see this as a white pebble and not as a strange thing found in space."


Everyone in the room were now shocked. They looked at each other but didn't say a thing. A little while later, it was confirmed that the pebble was a part of our Driveway. My parents were happy that the case was solved. Though, Mr. Principal and Mrs. Yells at me continued staring...

Image Source:
Google Images

Monday, July 26, 2010

A Detective Story : Mr. Farmer's Disappearance

Mr. Stupid and Lord Grumpy were detectives. Even though they were rivals, joining forces was a necessity for solving this particular case. Mr. Stupid opened the file. There it was, in red - "Mr. Farmer's peculiar disappearance!"

Mr. Stupid was a Private Eye. At least, it said so on his room's door. This was the same room where he had solved many cases. Like the one about "The Stolen Sneakers Bar from the Chamber of Food" and one on a "Numbers Racket".

Detective Grumpy had his Private Eye on the next street. He held a blank stare all the time. He had entered Mr. Stupid's room for the first time and didn't seem happy.


"I am here only because Dad asked me to."
he looked at Mr. Stupid.

Maybe, Dad was another detective who had handed the case to Detective Grumpy. Mr. Stupid knew that cracking this case would be difficult. He held out a bag which had key evidences.

"What are these?"
Detective Grumpy asked.

"This here will help us crack the case."

"Toys? Can we please do something else?"

"No,"
Mr. Stupid said. "Remember what Dad said."

"Alright,"
he wasn't happy. "Okay what do we play?"

"These toys should help present the chain of events that took place before Mr. Farmer's disappearance. Let's go back to the day when he went missing..."


It was a beautiful Sunday morning. Mr. Farmer has just woken up. He picks himself up from his bed and walks towards the kitchen. 20,000 feet above, the engines of flight 150 stop working for no reason. The Pilot forgets to turn it on and is now unaware that the huge white aircraft is losing altitude. Mr. Farmer casually looks out of the kitchen window and stares at the sea. He lights his stove to make some coffee. The Sea behind the Farmer's house is silent until a huge ship arrives. People on the ship are screaming. A few have jumped and the others are trying to find life jackets. The Captain of the cruise liner has just fallen asleep and nobody is able to wake him up...


"That was fun,"
Detective Grumpy stared. "I'll be downstairs."

"You can't leave this case here. We must solve it. We must find how Mr. Farmer disappeared."

"Forget it. I know where this will end up..."

"Remember what Dad said."

"Okay..."
Detective Grumpy was angry. Mr. Stupid couldn't avoid his stares. But, he had a case to solve. So, he continued.

The cruise liner is now headed towards the blue house where Mr. Farmer lives. Meanwhile, the driver of a 30-car passenger train looks at the cruise liner. He can't believe his eyes but realizes that the ship will be charging towards the train pretty soon. The Driver makes a hasty decision and pulls a gear. The train is now going faster than before. It jumps the tracks and drags all the cars into the air behind it. As for the Aircraft, it is heading towards the ground. The Pilot tries to get the engine running but in vain. He gives up hope and waits wishing the aircraft survives the impact. The Cruise liner still has a sleeping Captain. The crew have just played a Trumpet next to his ear. But, he won't wake up.

In a freak coincidence, the Aircraft, the Train and the Cruise liner are all converging on one spot, Mr. Farmer's home...

"That's enough. Can't we do something else?"

"No,"
Mr. Stupid said. "This is an important case and we are almost done solving it."


Mr. Farmer takes his coffee and decides to go get the newspaper. He opens the front door only to find a passenger train charging at him. He turns around and looks up to find a white Aircraft falling at him. The farmer has nowhere to go. He runs towards the shed at the back of his home. He looks up hearing a lot of commotion. A cruise liner is headed towards him and he can't decide where to go. Finally, he runs to his home and hides inside a closet.
There is a KABOOM and then a BIFF. This is followed by a WHAM, a CRASH and two BOOMS. Finally, there is an OUCH and a POW.


This happens to be Reason #7 of the three bazillion ones why my brother never played with me. My Dad always forced him to. Though, after this incident, it was a long time since he dropped by my room.


Image Source: Google Images

Friday, July 23, 2010

Harry Potato and the Worthless stone - VIII

To read Part - VII, click here.

The Sandwich season had begun. Harry would be playing in his first match: Corridor versus Superthin. Nobody knew Harry was a part of the Corridor team. Wood had kept it a secret as he knew people would be shocked to see a Potato on a Vacuum Cleaner.


In the changing rooms, Harry and the rest of the team changed into their robes. Everyone were excited except for Harry.
"Ahem,"
Wood cleared his throat for silence. He had to say it seventeen times to make everyone quite.
"OK, men,"
he said.
"And women,"
said a girl from the back.
"Who are you?"
"What? I have been on the team since last year."
she wasn't happy.
"Okay, and women,"
Wood said. He looked at harry and smiled, "And Potatoes!"
"Hey! No need to mention that all the time."


The corridors left the changing room and arrived at the ground. They gathered around Madam Ouch who was sleeping.
"Madam Ouch, wake up. You are the referee."
Wood spoke in a low voice.
"Oh yeah, sorry about that. Anyway, I want a nice fair game, all of you,"
she said. "Mount your Vacuum cleaners, please."
Harry got onto his Vacuumus 2000. It had a huge START button. Harry pressed it and waited. It rose high up into the air.
"Now, when I blow my whistle... where's my whistle..."
Madam Ouch searched all her pockets. "Forget the whistle. I'll just count to three."
Harry was still not convinced that Madam Ouch was a flying instructor.
"Alright, get ready three - two - one - play..."


Wood flew high up and caught the black ball. He moved around quickly and managed to get it in one of the ring shaped goals. There were cheers everywhere.
A player from Superthin managed to dodge three defenders and land the black ball into a goal. The scores were level now. Harry waited for the Dust ball but it never arrived. Finally, he found it moving around. Harry pointed his Vacuumus 2000 towards the dust ball. He picked up speed and ran over it. The crowd was silent now. Everyone were shocked to find Harry who was looking sick.

"He's going to be sick."
Hermione yelled while watching through her binoculars.
"What?"
Pong looked through his. "Harry is holding his hand to his mouth. Now he's coughing. And now, there is a brown ball in his hand."
"Ewww..."
the crowd screamed.
"No need to Ewww people, it's the Dust Ball. Corridor wins!"
the commentator said.

There was a loud cheer. The Corridors were all celebrating. Pong and Hermione were cheering for Harry. Harry held out the Dust Ball to the crowd. It was all wet now. Even though the sight was disgusting, the cheers continued.


That evening, Harry, Pong and Hermione were in the great hall.
"You were amazing Harry!"
Pong said.
"Thanks, Pong..."
Harry smiled.
"Congratulations, Mr. Potato," There was a voice from behind. It was Professor Escape. "You did well in the game."
"Thank you, Sir."
"I hope you don't get sucked into that vacuum cleaner in your next game. Or worse, end up swallowing the Dust Ball."
"Don't worry. I don't fit in the Nozzle. And the Vacuumus 2000 comes with a Carpet Nozzle. That way, I can never get sucked in."
"A Carpet Nozzle? Wow. Can I borrow it for a day? The carpet in my Potions classroom needs a clean up."
"Sure. Can I get candies in exchange?"
"No,"
Professor Escape looked at Harry. "I almost forgot. There's one more thing. Don't end up turning into French fries. I love French fries!" He stared at Pong and left.
"Why did he stare at me?"
"I don't know."
Hermione said.

Harry looked at Professor Escape. He was limping and his leg had a huge cut.
"Did you see the blood on his right leg?"
"Blood?"
Pong and Hermione spoke together.
"Yeah. I guess last night, Escape tried to get past that three headed clown. But, he got bit and that's why he's limping."
"Why would anybody go near that thing?"
"I am sure it is guarding something and Professor Escape wants it. The restricted floor had the large McDonald's Golden Arches logo. And Escape said he loved French fries."
     (to be continued)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Back from Moon

I am back from the Space Mission. It went really bad and the Green People from "Planet of Green people" weren't impressed.

We all arrived at the moon, my Grandparents house the other day. My brother didn't think it was wise to have me around. But, every trip needed me. So, I decided to join them.

We were at their house early in the morning. The Moon is a great place. Though, it does have lots of things that happen to be fragile. I found a tiny glass fish. Next to it was a glass ship. I picked them and held them high up. The next moment, they gained Superpowers and transformed into Super Fish and Super Ship.

I was now playing a decent Superhero game. It included flying and fighting with sounds. Super Fish and Super Ship charged towards each other and lost their Superpowers. They slipped from my hands and fell on a Coffee Table. Super Fish and Super Ship were now in a huge mess of shattered glass. What made the situation worse was a crack on the Coffee table. Who buys a Coffee table with a glass top?

Staying in the Moon was no longer safe. So, I wrote a secret note and placed it next to the mess. I was in the open and found a man sitting in his backyard. I walked to him "Hello!"
"Hi, how can I help you?"
he smiled.
"I am your neighbor's grandson."
"Oh,"
his smile turned into a stare. "So, you were the one who pushed the Wedding Cake at her daughter's wedding."
"Yes. Actually, my brother was a part too. We were pushing the Wedding Cake around and..."
"And you pushed it into a Swimming Pool."
"Exactly."
"How didn't you notice a huge pool?"
"We never knew it had water. Anyway, I am going to the Park. Would you like to join me?"
"Well, okay."


We walked to the Park. Mr. Old Man looked at me and asked "What were you expecting in a Swimming Pool other than water?"
"Lots of things. But, we were testing if the cake would hold its shape on falling inside."

He wasn't happy with that answer.

We were at the Park and walked around for a few minutes. I suggested we sit on the grass. He looked around and sat down. We were speaking about the Swimming pool incident when I noticed a huge sign that read - "Do not walk on the Grass". The sign never mentioned sitting. So, I ignored it.
Mr. Old man saw the sign and said "I think we should leave. The sign says not to sit on the grass."
"No it doesn't. It says not to walk on the grass. Sitting is not mentioned."


I could remember everything that had happened four years ago - the reason why the
Old People's Safety Department had begun. I had done a similar mistake then and Old People everywhere hated me.
The next moment, water started to splash on our faces. It wasn't raining. I looked closely and found a couple of sprinklers turning on. I got up and ran.
Mr. Old man wasn't quick enough and got caught between a couple of sprinklers. He got out finally but was drenched and angry.
"I guess you're not supposed to sit either."
Mr. Old man stared at me.

I got stares all the way until we reached his home. He was still dripping. I returned home and found my grandmother waiting. My parents were next to her and my brother was standing behind. They were all angry.
"I had nothing to do with this mess. I even left a note to prove my innocence."
"You mean this?"
My brother held it out. He read out the secret note "I had nothing to do with Super Fish and Super Ship. Even the cracked Coffee Table!"
Maybe, the note wasn't very convincing. The door behind me flung open. There were four people and none of them were happy. Among the four was Mr. Old Man. He spoke to my grandmother for sometime. Everyone stared at me and this time, I couldn't leave Moon. Only if Super Fish and Super Ship had the power to regenerate.

Image Source: Google Images

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Black and White Talk

Mister Boo is my brother's friend. Even though he has a "Boo" in his name, we get along well. Every time I meet him, we have a stupid conversation.

A month back, he had arrived to meet my brother. In his hand was a large Photo album. I couldn't help notice it. So, I popped over.
"Mister Boo, what's that?"
"This here is my family's treasure."
"Wow. Are you planning to sell it?"

He stared at me and said "No! Treasure in the sense of importance. In this album are all my ancestors."
"Wow. How did they all fit into a small book?"
"Well, they had their pictures taken."
"Oh, and by ancestors, are there monkeys too?"
"Nope. Just my great grandparents and their parents and their relatives. My Dad's uncle, aunt and a few neighbors..."

"Neighbors? Why did you put them in a family photo album?"
"There was lots of room. Back to what's in this book - My mom's relatives. Her aunt's five cats..."
"Ahem. That's a lot of pictures. Anyway, let me have a look."
"Alright. But, the book is very fragile. Make sure you hold it right."
he handed the book to me. All the pictures inside where in Black and White.

"I was thinking,"
Mister Boo looked at me. "How come old photographs are all in Black and White? Didn't they have color film back then?"
Both of us knew the answer. It was a NO. Since, he had started off, I couldn't end it that simple.
"Actually,"
I began. "They did have color film. In fact, all these photographs are in color. The world was black and white then."
"Wow. Really?"
"Yes. The world didn't turn color until 1920's. That was when the sun decided it should start sending colorful light rather than shades of gray."
"The Sun did that? Wow. But, why are old paintings in color? If the world was black and white back then, wouldn't the artists paint it that way?"
"Actually, most artists imagined a world filled with color. The Sun told a few others that it would one day send colorful light. The ones left were all crazy."
"But how could they have painted in color anyway? Their paints must have been only shades of gray. The sun sent colorful light only in the 1920's, remember?"
"Exactly. They did have only gray paints back then. But they all changed to color when the Sun sent in the colorful light."
"Didn't you say the Sun convinced some artists to paint in color?"
"I did. But, that was a lie which many artists told. They were just like the other crazy bunch. The ones who imagined the world colorful were all insane."
"Alright. But, if their black and white paintings changed to color, why didn't these photographs change too?"
"That's because, the Sun wanted to leave some evidence of a Black and White world. Presidents from every country agreed too..."

"You guys are crazy,"
there was a voice from behind. It was my brother. He was staring at me "That's the worst explanation for Black and White photography." He turned to Mister Boo and said, "Don't you have books to borrow?"
"I do,"
he took a few books from my brother and walked towards me. "We should get back to our conversation online..."

I didn't go online that day. I was out of any more explanations for how the world changed to color from Black and White
.


Image Source:
Google Images

P.S
- I will be at the Moon for an important space mission. So, wait for me until Wednesday. If I'm not back, send in a Space Shuttle to Planet of Green People. Keep roaming in the space until you find a poster which says - "We are the Green People!". The guys in it might have abducted me. I will be away from all your wonderful blogs until I get back. Hope you all have a great weekend!