Saturday, December 5, 2009

4 Reasons - Why not to mess with a child!

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Josh was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. It was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Josh.” The teacher asked, ” What if Josh went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, "There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer" or "That’s Michael, he’s a doctor." A small voice at the back of the room rang out, ”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood as you know would run into it, and I would turn red in the face...” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples.

I appreciate your comments!

10 comments:

  1. lol..Last one was the best!! :)

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  2. Hi Mr. Stupid, like the name, since I call myself "The Bonehead". Really like the first one, great punch line, and I liked the God watching the apples. Good luck on the blog!

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  3. Hi Gautam,
    Thanks for checking on my Blog. And thanks for commenting. Appreciated!

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  4. Hello Dave, or shall I call you "The Bonehead". Nice name by the way. Mr. Stupid is to address how much stupidness could be filled inside a person. Anyways, as for the last one, I would have asked the Nun if God was watching all of us at the same time. Anyways, Cheers. Thanks for visiting my Blog!

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  5. Hi there, Independent Queen. Thanks for stopping by and dropping in a vote. Much appreciated. Checked out your Profile, its great. Well written! Anyways, have a wonderful day!

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  6. My wife has other related names for me. But we won't go there. Kids do say the darnest things. Gonna forward some of these on.

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  7. The first, second and last one were funny. Kids are so classic. They come out with the funniest things.

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  8. Matt: Well, they do say the darnest things...:) OK, glad you haven't gone for those names yet...

    Shian: Me too. Thanks for dropping by. Have a great day...:)

    Budinsky: HAHA. Glad you liked them. I liked the third one too, "Your Feet Ain't Empty!" lol

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