Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Bwaaaa... Zombies!


I never learn my lesson. I watched another Horror Movie, "Dawn of the Dead". After what happened to me on watching The Ring, I promised my Dog and myself never to watch another scary movie. But I did yesterday. All those Zombies and Half dead people were really yuck. Again it was the same fears. But then, there was a wave of wisdom that struck me.
What if you encountered a Zombie? To make it even worse, what if it was on Halloween?

*Bwaaaaaaa*

And so, I present to you today, "Zombie People Outbreak" - A Guide on how to tackle a Zombie!

A Zombie blends in perfectly during Halloween. What if the dead guy rose again and you were the only one facing him?
Well, lets just be prepared...

Don't Panic - Ya right. That was easy to say but when you are facing a weird looking person who wants to eat your brain, its not.

Know Your Enemy - This one is really important.
First know he is a Zombie. Z-O-M-B-I-E  Yeah, spell it out right. Now, go to him and tickle him. Look for an expression. If he laughs, we are not talking of any Zombie. If not, then maybe you should consider him as one.
After the Tickle, then tell him a Sick joke. Again look for an expression. If he giggles, then he's not a Zombie. If not, you better run.

Be the Enemy - Scholars have said - "If you can't Beat the Enemy, Be the Enemy". Now, nobody would say something ridiculous like that, it was me!
Anyways, if you survived the "Know your Enemy" scenario, get back to the Zombie. Your main goal here is to convince him that you are a Zombie too. Now if you didn't wear anything Scary for Halloween, you better run. If you did wear something Idiotic, face the Zombie. Try talking to him in Zombie language. Agree with whatever he says and don't annoy him!

Arm Yourself - You better get to an Ammunition for supplies. If you are rejected there, or are out of cash, use stuff that you already have.
First, go for Candies. You might have collected some "Trick-or-treating". If not, check your pockets. You might have stolen some from the kids. Aim them at his head. Not his mouth!
If that doesn't work, go for your slippers or shoes. If they don't either, run!

Call Someone - If the undead infestation is well underway then the mobile phone networks will almost definitely be down.
Send a text message, it will float around in the aether for a while but it will eventually find it's way when the networks come back online. Now, nobody would come rescue you if they knew there was a Zombie. Tell them there's a Halloween party and they should come join you.
If they bring a few more people, then that would be good. If not, its always great to have company while becoming a Zombie.

If you survive all odds, There we go, a handy little guide to surviving a zombie outbreak. Use it wisely and be sure that the monsters attacking your home are in fact zombies and not children in masks before you get the cricket bat.

12 comments:

  1. Nice one! Next time I see a horror flick, I'll remember this post and probably fall outta the couch laughing :D

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  2. I'm surprised Homeland Security hasn't created a pamphlet yet on Zombie Attacks. I guess we'll really have something to worry about once they start hiding explosives in their underwear.

    Great post!

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  3. SOme people are immune to tickles and they may just not laugh at all, and do the exact opposite, such as get really mad. What if the suspected zombie is a just an innocent human person! I don;t want to him/her them unless I know it's for real! Tell me what to do! Please!

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  4. I like a zombie movie now and then but they are all the same. My favorite are The Resident Evil movies. The best way to pick you zombie movies it to look for some eye candy that will stick around at least half the movie. There is nothing new in the plot except maybe the name of the agent that caused the zombies in the first place.

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  5. Tasha: Thanks for dropping by. Well, Happy next Horror Flick...lol

    Lauren: I would suggest even banners and billboards. Well, when they arrive, it would be an explosive situation.
    "Beware Zombies Outbreak"

    Shanaz: Well, the only thing that can be done is ask the Zombie - "Are you a Zombie?"
    Even though, that sounds stupid, give it a try. Maybe a "Yes" would make me suspicious. A "No" would assure me he/she/it is a zombie....:)

    Sundcarrie: Well, Horror Movies are a NO to me. But, I never learn my lessons. So I will give them a try.... again! lol

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  6. "Know Your Enemy - This one is really important.
    First know he is a Zombie. Z-O-M-B-I-E Yeah, spell it out right. Now, go to him and tickle him. Look for an expression."

    ROFL... damn, you're hilarious! Or maybe it's because I just laugh at practically anything... including the face of death... like being eaten by a zombie.

    Seriously, I'm going to print out these tips and place it in my wallet... just in case.

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  7. I guess it's the curious and daring human mind that keeps us intrigued about the paranormal. I have never watched The Ring. EVERY SINGLE person I know that watched that movie was so traumatized and spooked by that movie. My sister would not stay home alone by herself. We have this show called 'Paranormal Investigates' where haunted places are investigated and I watched the show on and off probably for 5 minutes or so cos it is so scary.

    Good zombie advice by the way. :)

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  8. I wonder where your mind travel to when you are in deep sleep.

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  9. Ryhen: Well, I would suggest you to remember it all step by step. You wouldn't have enough time to check your wallet when you're facing a Zombie. And if he's not a real one, maybe, you might never get your wallet again....lol

    Rose: I would translate "The Ring" exactly to Spooky and Scary. Well, I have never watched "Paranormal Investigates". But lets give that a try too. Maybe, then I will have another post to write about....:)

    Ummie: Well, I mind travel to Las Vegas, then to Iceland and then am suddenly on the Petronas doing "Base Jumping"..... Oh forget it! Well, am not really sure where I mind travel. But am glad I am always on the Bed or on the floor when I wake up... lol

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  10. Hi.
    Really funny.
    Still it reminds me of a story i read last year in the paper about a zombie not being given an disability alocation.
    Honest to god!
    Have a great day.
    Will.

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  11. HiLaRiOuS!!! Generally, I don't watch scary movies because of the nightmares I have as a result which are way more scary than the movie. Hey, that's an idea. I could write really scary movies, win an Oscar and...oh, never mind.

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  12. Will: Are you sure Will it didn't have anything to do with this Article. Coz I am planning of suing the Newspaper guys for stealing my idea....lol

    Me-Me King: Hiya, thanks for dropping by. Well, Happy Movie Making. Maybe you can name it - "MeMe's Nightmare Horror" :)

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