Thursday, January 28, 2010

Combating Gas prices

Rising Gas prices are a Global issue today. I telepathically heard you say it too. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. From my Dad, my Uncle, my brother, my friends and my dog. OK, not my Dog!

Nonetheless, I have decided to try to help you get through this crisis by generously providing two Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices!

Don't Drive Your Car: Well, this has to be the most simple solution. You don't drive your Car, you don't have to buy Gas. But if you have an addiction to buy gas even without a vehicle, this won't help you!

Of course, I know what you're going to say.
"But Mr. Stupid, I have places I need to go. Like work and the kids have school and soccer practice. And then there's grocery shopping and yoga lessons and blah and....blah"
"OK, I get the Ting Tong point." Not everyone can sit around the house and laze like me. I fully understand that some of you have a life. But just because you don't drive your own car doesn't mean you can't get around. The answer?

Carpool: Yup, this is your answer. Instead of using your gas, use Someone Else's! You don't need the guilt of spending that extra money and having lost that very expensive fuel. Have someone else pay to take your kids to school. Make someone else dip into their retirement fund just so they can cover the gas bill needed to get you to the office and back everyday. Make someone else get a second job so that they can have a full tank of gas in their SUV for your trip to the mall. It's so simple. Well, it does sound a bit rude. But in case of Gas, do it!

Of course, the concept of carpooling is that everyone takes turns driving. You can avoid using your own car by making it so that the other carpool participants would rather walk barefoot on a 100 degree asphalt than ride with you. You achieve this by:

Never washing your car. Leave it looking and smelling like a landfill.

Have the worst behaved child in your family sitting in the front seat at all times. Feed the child lots of candy so he/she is always super hyper. Feed me some too!

Only play 19th century music in your Car. Even though there were not many. If possible, sing a few songs in an annoying voice...
You shouldn't have to worry about anyone wanting to ride with you ever again.


Well, there you have it, two ways to deal with rising gas prices. Hopefully, next time your friends are grumbling and ranting about the mounting gas prices you will be able to just sit back and smile, content because the issue no longer concerns you. One more thing. Don't ever disclose the Carpool secret with anyone...

15 comments:

  1. Such a sweet and funny post, Yep every one is quite depressed due to the rising rates fuel nowadays ,as far leaving driving a car is concerned it feel to be a good idea people can rather use bicycles instead of cars .Your I ideas are cool ,I know such a child u mentioned in the post and I am sure that his parents will happily hand him over to u for such purposes.At least one can use his abilities.

    Nice post , great writing.
    Have a nice life

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  2. Hi there this really made me laugh - even though there is a darker side to your tale. thanks for your kind words will be following you
    GW:)

    If all else fails, at least I can still laugh at myself

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  3. That was pure ingenuity.
    You see tho...I already do this...and I'm guilt free!! Its an amazing secret and works very well.
    I have no car in this situation tho so it makes it all the easier not to have to have "My turn" to drive annoying people around.
    (^_^)
    Great Post!!

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  4. Baili: And that is one child I would make a friend for sure. But the trouble arises when I need to give him candy. All I will manage to do is eat it myself... lol
    Glad you liked the post. Have a good day...:)

    Gwei: That is always the best thing to do. I often tease myself looking at the mirror.
    Thanks for the follow and thanks for visiting...:)

    Al`eh: I am glad there is someone doing this. I suggested it to my Dad. All I got was a rude stare. People don't understand what could be its outcome...lol

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  5. Genius! This is such a thoroughly thought out tactic to combat the global gas price vomit! I seriously loved your approach, Mr.Stupid.

    But what if they insisted that I wash my landfill-scented car and teach my pretend-kid some manners and lay off the candies! I wouldn't be able to offer you some and my car would be a magnet for some other gas-price-obssessed person!

    Thank you for making me chuckle! You're a gift. He he he.

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  6. A motorcyle would be cheaper. Or do they have solar powered bike already?

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  7. S'poreans were encourage to carpool a long time ago. Yet the road still congested with ever increasing numbers of cars.

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  8. i have a friend who has so much trash on the floor of her car that i LITERALLY can't see my feet when i ride with her. I am honestly frightened something is lurking in all that trash and will bite me. She's my one of my best friends ever and so i just can't bear to tell her to clean up her car. Maybe she reads your blog!

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  9. Hi Mr Stupid. Well I'm ahead on this issue because I can't drive! Best solution is to organise your life so everything is in walking distance. Then you only have to find money for shoes!

    Bearfriend xx

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  10. Shanaz: Firstly, too bad you can't offer me some candies. Anyhow, try to convert your car into a Hut. This can always be achieved with rats. Just wear a protection suit to keep yourself safe from them...:)

    Mcrapu: A Motorcycle is always the best solution. But I wonder if any of this would annoy the rider... lol

    Ummie: And yet, nobody suggested them to ruin their car to avoid letting people in....:)

    Outdoor.mom: Well, that happens many times. I hope she is reading this blog. But maybe that would make the situation even worse...!

    Friend: That is just superb. I can't drive either. Walking is always good. I even borrowed my shoes from a friend so that I don't have to spend.... lol

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  11. Hahahaha! (I need smiley here.) You are really a genius but carpooling does great things here in the Philippines.

    I really love your sense of humor. I will give you a candy when you come here in the Philippines. I can even let you stay in our house. (if I can trust you. Hehehehe!!!)

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  12. LOL You can borrow one of my kids if you'd like.

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  13. So that's all it takes to solve the gas crisis. Maybe collect the garbage from the car seats and floors and turn it into methane gas. Oh, maybe a trip to Taco Bell wouldn't be a bad idea. : )

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  14. I love reading your post...with common sense humor you keep me smiling. Great article...loved it. BTW, Zippy does own some really cool outfits...I will have to post her in some of them.

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  15. Elionrock: Here I come.... Well, I would love to see a bag full of candies... lol
    Well, if in case you hold fragile items at your home, you can trust my Dog more than me.... hehe

    Tracie: Well, I am not into driving as of now. But will give them a try in the coming years... lol

    Lauren: And the government was running all crazy with this issue...:) The methane gas could even power the vehicle. But there is is a necessity that you have some garbage left.... lol

    Valea: Glad you liked the post. Thanks for dropping by...:)

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