Rising Gas prices are a Global issue today. I telepathically heard you say it too. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. From my Dad, my Uncle, my brother, my friends and my dog. OK, not my Dog!
Nonetheless, I have decided to try to help you get through this crisis by generously providing two Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices!
Don't Drive Your Car: Well, this has to be the most simple solution. You don't drive your Car, you don't have to buy Gas. But if you have an addiction to buy gas even without a vehicle, this won't help you!
Of course, I know what you're going to say. "But Mr. Stupid, I have places I need to go. Like work and the kids have school and soccer practice. And then there's grocery shopping and yoga lessons and blah and....blah"
"OK, I get the Ting Tong point." Not everyone can sit around the house and laze like me. I fully understand that some of you have a life. But just because you don't drive your own car doesn't mean you can't get around. The answer?
Carpool: Yup, this is your answer. Instead of using your gas, use Someone Else's! You don't need the guilt of spending that extra money and having lost that very expensive fuel. Have someone else pay to take your kids to school. Make someone else dip into their retirement fund just so they can cover the gas bill needed to get you to the office and back everyday. Make someone else get a second job so that they can have a full tank of gas in their SUV for your trip to the mall. It's so simple. Well, it does sound a bit rude. But in case of Gas, do it!
Of course, the concept of carpooling is that everyone takes turns driving. You can avoid using your own car by making it so that the other carpool participants would rather walk barefoot on a 100 degree asphalt than ride with you. You achieve this by:
Never washing your car. Leave it looking and smelling like a landfill.
Have the worst behaved child in your family sitting in the front seat at all times. Feed the child lots of candy so he/she is always super hyper. Feed me some too!
Only play 19th century music in your Car. Even though there were not many. If possible, sing a few songs in an annoying voice...
You shouldn't have to worry about anyone wanting to ride with you ever again.
Well, there you have it, two ways to deal with rising gas prices. Hopefully, next time your friends are grumbling and ranting about the mounting gas prices you will be able to just sit back and smile, content because the issue no longer concerns you. One more thing. Don't ever disclose the Carpool secret with anyone...