Sunday, January 10, 2010

Guide on Barking!


"A Guide about Dog Barking from a Dog"

Who else can understand a Dog better?
Another Dog...  So here is my Dog's guide about barking.
Copies available both in English and Dog Language(Bark, Yelp, Woof and everything else...)

Why is your dog barking?

To be honest, I love barking. Sometimes I bark for attention. When peeps look at me, I stop. Other times, I bark when I am excited. I bark some more when I think - "Hey, this rocks!" Then I bark a few more times to finish up.

OK, coming back to the barking problem, whatever you do, don't shout at us. You want to know what I think when you shout at me while I'm barking? "Coooool! They're totally barking with me! This so rocks!"

Understand why your dog is barking.

So, yeah, now you know why I bark. It's important to know why your dog barks, though.
Here are some possible reasons:

He is bored.
He is scared.
He is lonely.
He has seen the postman.
(Aha. Coming to this part....)

About the Postman

Everyone would tell you that your dog barks when he sees the Postman.
"Now, if nobody's told you that, its embarrassing!"  We don't see this guy as a friend. Only a Foe. Hey, he is entering my property! "I sure would teach him a lesson if it was Me against him in a Steel Cage Match!"

As any dog will tell you, we bark at the postman because we hate that guy. In the wild, postmen are our natural enemies. Walking up our driveway day after day. Stuffing things through our door and then the box thing, ringing the bell... "I mean, honestly, do you think that's acceptable?"

Stopping the Barking

"Hey, that's not fair. You speak to everyone at home. You yell at the neighbors. You shout at the Television when it goes blank. You speak to nobody while sleeping like a crazy person. And you want us not to bark..."
Anyways, you can't do anything about our mentality against Postmen! But Bribe can make us stop barking. A few Chocolates, Good boys and Snuggles should reduce our barking.

"That is no way going to stop me from barking though. I rule everyone at my home and they know it"

Tyson's "A Guide about Dog Barking from a Dog" has limited copies on Sale. Get one today and understand your dog better.
** If you are a Postman, then sorry. You ain't getting this book. The T&C of the book states a big NO to Postmen **

5 comments:

  1. WOOF WOOF WOOF! Yes, 3 barks for the dog who wrote this! Always a pleasure to read about a barking dog guide. :p

    Mr.Stupid, please pay my bills. He he. I would be really pleased if you could lay out some tricks to get unknown people to be willing to pay our bills for fun.

    You're a genius! :D

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  2. hahaha...

    I'm no dog, but I growl and howl. That's because I'm a wolf. AW AW AWOOOOOOOGAAAAHHHHH!!!

    uhm... hmm... maybe that sounded more like a 1937 Volkswagen.

    Anyway, did you understand what I said? I'm sure you do. We both came from the same biological family of carnivorous and omnivorous mammals. But just in case, let me translate:

    AW AW AWOOOOOOOGAAAAHHHHH!!! - I think you're cool

    There. Peace out!

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  3. Shanaz: Barks and Arfs to you from Tyson. Glad you liked the guide. Someone's gonna be really happy at my home...:)

    Well, I will surely pay your Bills not a problem. I am also working on a new "Witchcraft Spell" - Pay the Bil spell. It should work out well... lol


    Ryhen: Some more Growl and Howls to you. Well, its great to know that we are related...
    Hooray.
    OK, time to go to the forest to hunt for our enemy.... "The Postman" HAHA

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  4. YIP YIP YIP, is different than WOOF WOOF WOOF... Don't ya agree?

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  5. Matt: Well, I am not that into Dog Language. Well, they do sound different...:)
    There is lot more to that, Yelp, Argh, Howl....:)

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