Saturday, January 2, 2010

Weight Loss failure!

My Cousin was at my home yesterday. He looked really sad. I couldn't stand it any longer. So I asked him why he was so upset. (See I am such a good person)

Anyways, he started off telling his Diet program was not working and he really had to do something about his weight. He had also read this article on Obesity and felt that he was a victim now for a Heart Attack or High Blood pressure.

(OK - I knew what his next question would be - Will you join me for morning walks?)
Hey - I can't wake up that early. And I even can't walk that far everyday...
So even before he could say a thing, I said,
"Don't worry. I will mail you a few tips to loose your weight."

He was really happy and then left. I didn't know any tips. Nor any suggestions...
So I decided to mail him this -

Excuses why my New Year's Resolutions to lose weight end in failure

I wasn't getting enough to eat on One diet so I had to go on Four.

Its winter and I need the extra insulation to keep me warm.

I went to the gym and somebody was on my machine. So I realized everything happens for a reason and it wasn't meant for me.

I have to buy junk food for the kids even though they don't really need that stuff. And I don't actually have any kids or know any kids.

I messed up and ate a chip on Day 5 so I gave up until next year's resolutions.

Turns out I didn't really mean it.

I know, he is going to be really mad. But, maybe he will lose some weight running to my house :)


  1. Walking early in the morning is too much of a shock to the system. I can barely speak full sentences in the morning. So I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to join him. I especially like your reason for not working out (karma kept me from exercising), although your dieting solution also makes a lot of sense. : ) He will really appreciate your help after the great workout he gets when he runs to your house to yell at you.

  2. Hi there Lauren. Early morning walk with him would be scary! The slow pace in which he walks and the dazed state in which I walk would resemble two zombies walking into nowhere.
    Well, the run to my house should do something to his weight though. Hope I only get yelled and not thrashed!

  3. "I wasn't getting enough to eat on One diet, so I had to go on four." Isn't that the truth. I'm gonna try to do better this year. Oh wait. I'm will do better this year. Say it with me Mr. Stupid. YES I CAN! YES I CAN! Hehe. Happy New Year! -

  4. Hi there Matt. OK, here goes... YES YOU CAN! YES YOU CAN!
    I totally agree that's the truth for some people. Hey have you been eating a bit extra nowadays? HAHA
    Anyways, thanks for the comment. Have a wonderful day!

  5. Very funny blog!! I must say that all of these excuses all seem extremely rational to me. I was going to give up beer - but then figured the economy has had enough difficulties...

  6. Well, Bonehead I totally understand. The economy has had enough difficulties. Lets not make it even worse. I promise, I will consume all the junk food I possibly can! :)

  7. that reason u gave from going to the gym but someone else is on my machine is what i tell myself everytime i try to lose weight.

    nice post