Monday, February 1, 2010

Arguing with Myself

The only person in the world I come close to arguing and winning is me. Though, the guy inside me always wins. Its him telling the right and me doing the big wrong.

So the other day, I got a message from my friend. One of our school buddy was in town and he wanted me to go meet him as he couldn't make it. Surprisingly, the guy lived just a few blocks away from where I lived. I couldn't walk that far. No way!
Alternative? Take my brother's bike.

My brother had an important appointment that day. So I had to sneak out of the house with his bike. Then I noticed the "E" on the gas gauge. That wasn't going to stop me. So I still took the bike.

I made my way to a huge apartment. I found his address stopped in several times without success. It took me almost 20 minutes of knocking and ringing the bell. But there was nobody inside.
Then, the guy inside me spoke, "Maybe you should check the address again."
"No way, I have memorized it perfectly."

The door finally opened. "Who is this?" - It was a voice that was convincing enough to check the address again. It was the wrong house. I could see my friend's house on the opposite side. There was a eerie figure by the door. It was a.... an old woman, well over her 80's. She was really upset. I had disturbed her while she was taking a nap. The yelling began. It took me way too long to convince her that it was a mistake. A few apologies and a sad face did the trick.

My friend's house was locked. Maybe he was still working at the local restaurant. I had enough money only for the fuel or for the food. The gauge was still on "E". The guy inside me spoke again, "No, get the fuel. You can always get lunch some other day."

I still decided to make it to the Restaurant.

There was a huge traffic congestion ahead of me. Due to the traffic, I had plenty of time to debate thoroughly and heatedly both sides of the issue at hand. This went on for about 15 minutes.
Finally, I submitted the evidence to God. "Oh God, I can't do both and I don't know which is the right one to do."
Blub came the reply, "Son, the traffic just cleared. Get moving and don't create another congestion!"

I finally reached the place. I asked the waiter about my friend. He said he would be arriving shortly. Meanwhile, I decided to have some food. Lunch was quicker than ever. The bill arrived too. I had enough money to pay for the food. But now, what was left with me wasn't even enough for a half candy.
I again asked about my friend. "Oh yeah, there he is..." The waiter pointed to a guy in his 30's. That can't be my friend. Did he have an age boost by drinking the wrong health drink? We both were the same age while we were kids. Nah, it couldn't be him. A serious interrogation with the gentleman confirmed, it wasn't him. They just had the same names!

The "E" on the gas gauge had now turned to an "Eeep". It was me. I had to push the vehicle all the way home. And there stood the angry "Lord Grumpy". Who else, my brother. He was really angry. Let's skip that part of the story...

As for the old woman, she did some awesome yelling. She had a lot of stamina to shout that good. I couldn't free myself from the grasp her words had on me.

As for the answer from God, maybe it wasn't him speaking. I guess it was the gentleman next to me on the road or the evil guy lurking inside me...

20 comments:

  1. Haha! You have a great gift for storytelling, dude! I'll bet my wrinkled underwear that it came from God. You know what, sometimes we think that we're just talking to ourselves during moments like what you mentioned, but the truth is, we are talking to beings that actually exist in different realities unknown to us. Matter of fact, I often find myself talking to an entity named Kermit The Annihilator. He's a great guy though he can get a bit moody. Btw, he's asking if he can borrow your brother's bike. He says he'll bring it back with a full tank.

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  2. that's a really nice story, and i would give you a standing-avation for your method of storytelling, keep it up, be in touch

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  3. Ok here's an idea. Next time, set a date to race with your shadow. See who's the faster runner and reward the winner accordingly.

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  4. I just hope that you never have to describe what the man inside you told you to do whilst in court...

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  5. interesting story bro...btw understood ourselves is not easy like u said :)

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  6. Ryhen: Hello Ryhen. Glad you liked the post. Well, hello Kermit. You sure can keep my brother's bike. Do fill it up and if possible, try auctioning it on Ebay. Just a 10% commission for me will do... LOL

    PL@Yb0y: Hello and thanks for visiting. Glad you liked the post. Have a good day...:)

    Ummie: "I am a Winner. I am a winner." See no need for a race. I convinced myself to be the winner.... lol

    Stanley: I am not guilty your honor. It was the guy inside me. hehe
    Thanks for dropping by Stanley...:)

    Aulawi: Glad you liked the post...:) Thanks for visiting!

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  7. Great story and very well written - keep it up!

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  8. My gahd, the story was perfect until I had to read Ryhen's comment about his wrinkly undies! Haha. Sadly, Mr.Stupid, you had it coming, from your brother and the old woman. :p

    How can you leave the house to meet a friend whom you thought was you old school friend but in actual fact, he was just a..DELUSION? You must be really missing this old dude, so did you give him a call after all the trouble you went through?

    As always, I am entertained =D Thank you my friend for sharing this. You're brilliant!

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  9. Mr (not) Stupid,
    Your answer to the deal really makes me laugh.
    You are born genius!!!

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  10. What a story teller you are - making the best out of small chalenges in life - and really readable too!

    Btw: Thanks for the visit and nice comment - always great to welcome new readers :-)

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  11. A gtreat story, well written, if one argues with themself then who's the winner? lol

    Take care.

    Yvonne.

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  12. Hi Mr Stupid. Firstly pedal bike = no fuel needed so you can spend all your money on food! (Which you did anyway but it's easier to pedal home than push a bike home)

    Secondly, you think god has the time to provide answers to your minor dilemas? Maybe you should save whatever goodwill you might have left with god for the serious questions in life!

    Bearfriend xx

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  13. Me-Me: Glad you liked it. I wanted to throw this story in the bin, but I have my blog as a better alternative... lol
    Up, Up and here in my blog....!

    Shanaz: I was expecting ironed pants... sorry underwear. Maybe Ryhen's pal, "Kermit The Annihilator" was given one... lol
    sigh The call? Yup, I did call him. Well, as you see, calls don't go well when you tell a story such as this...:)

    Ummie: And I thought only "Blah Blah Black Sheep" was a born genius. Anyways, sorry about that silly statement. I'm done...:)

    Tracie: All this while, I thought "Lord Grumpy" was a good story teller. Looks like I am a good one now too. Do you think I should tell this story to a kindergartner???

    Renny: Thank you so much for dropping by. Much appreciated. Glad I found your blog...:)

    Yvonne: I would always assume, I am the winner. Since I am the winner, I am a loser too. Get it???...:)

    Bearfriend: Well, firstly it was a Motorcycle. I couldn't find the pedals. No matter what... lol
    I think you are right. There are more too many serious dilemmas than this one.
    Thanks for dropping by..... big :)

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  14. boy-o-boy, what I would trade to get into that mind of yours!...and I thought I was crazy :)

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  15. I started smiling when i red the title and watched the pic ,Because arguing my self is one of my biggest problem also , Some times i even speak up "shut up". I imagine the old lady yelling on u really a funny situation.
    The sad face trick , learn it from my younger one, he his best in this trick.I would say that if ur brother had really important work u should have listened urself and must not have took the bike, cause, some times it creates serious problems ,I have observation. Really positive energy makes u to expect answer from God believe me it is a gift.Really liked that one, Take care.

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  16. Mr. S,
    I'll never get tired of reading your funny stories..You've got a gift on writing and as well as tremendous amount of sense of humor.

    I could imagine the face of the "Lord Grumpy" haha..

    XO

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  17. haha You are such a flipping humorous guy who'd just get away with anything! Oh, you already knew that. Ba ha ha. :p

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  18. Crazynigerian: 17 candies and 8 lollipops. Hope you win the bid on Ebay... lol

    Shabana: Well, sometimes I blame myself, sorry the guy inside me. "It was your fault!"
    Hope I can meet your son soon. Maybe we can make our expressions even better.
    Coming to troubles, I cause most of it. I don't have to worry till somebody troubles me!:)

    "BUTTERY"fly: And Lord Grumpy proved to be really angry that day. Well, it always happens when I cause trouble.
    Glad you liked the post...:)

    Shanaz: Thank you so much. Well, that compliment deserves a candy. Will a half candy do??? hehe

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  19. Mr. S, Loved your self vs self story and the way you tied up all the loose ends. Thank God you survived the drop to Eeep on your gas gauge. : ) But did you survive the bro bashing that might have ensued? That part of the story you left to our imaginations, which can be a dangerous thing.

    Surviving the Granny spat was also a bit of good fortune. There's nothing like getting a word whopping from a Granny awakened from a nap. It could have been worse. She could have been hanging out on the ceiling and then crawled down the wall to take a bite out of your neck, like in the promo for that new horror flick.

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