Sunday, June 20, 2010

Back from Mars

Finally, I am back. The trip was great. Not so good for my aunt though. Only if I had read all your "Don't eat the chocolate" comments before.

I peeked into the box at my home. The ten sugary surprises wrapped in golden foil looked back at me. As I was looking, there were two others. Bad guy and Good guy from inside my head. Their conversation with me was a bit like this-

"Look at all those sugary surprises. Go ahead. Eat one."
Bad Guy spoke.

"Don't do it. Remember. They are for your Aunt to reduce her stares."
Good Guy protested

"The chocolates will protect you from all the stares."

"Don't do it."

"Alright. Eat just one. See if it works.

"Okay. Just one."
Good Guy agreed.

I picked a chocolate and ate it. Bad Guy and Good Guy were still having a talk. Good Guy kept suggesting, "Just one."
By the end, all I had were wrappers. No chocolates. Not even one. Bad Guy and Good Guy had disappeared and my Mom was honking the car.

I took the empty box, carried it all the way and then threw it in a Garbage Can near my Aunt's house. I arrived there in the evening.
She opened the door and was wearing a big smile. That was surprising. We spoke for sometime. I didn't have to use my double eye patch all the while.

Then, the phone rang. It was my Mom doing the "Did he arrive" call. They spoke for a while and then,

"Hope you like the chocolates..."
"What chocolates?"
"Well... The ones my son brought."
"Oh. I never saw them. Why don't you ask him?"

I spoke to my Mom and told her about how a Burglar stole the Chocolate Box and gave it to his friend. That wasn't convincing.

Anyway, I was at Mars and everything around was weird.
"You should read some of these books."
She pointed to a large bookshelf with many books.
I picked a book and got seated. Now, books make me think. Thinking makes me sleep. I fell asleep. After a few minutes, there was a thing standing next to me and coughing. Zombie? Scary Woman from a Movie? Ghost? I looked closely. The thing was my aunt.

Next day was there soon. We were outside in her garden. She spoke a lot about flowers and gardening. This time, I wasn't thinking.
"I love gardening."
She said.
"I like it too..."
I have had bad experiences with Gardening. The last time I helped my Mom with a plant, resulted in the leaves going missing. All that was left was a stick.
"Wow. That's nice. Can you trim this shrub for me? This is one of my favorite plants. I love its fragrance."
She pointed at a shrub with beautiful flowers on it. I was going to say a NO!
"I'll be glad to."
I didn't mean it. The words just blurted out. She thanked me and left.
I was now alone standing in her garden with a shrub.

I picked the garden shears and started. After a lot of work, there was a finished product. It was now a weird looking plant.
"Oh my god! What's that?"
My Aunt screamed.

"Well, that's you shrub now looking even more
I was late in getting the eye patch. I got many stares and looks.

I finally returned to Earth today. My Mom greeted me with a Hello and then a stare.
"So, the chocolates were taken away by a burglar. How about the trimming? Did he drop by her garden and do it for you?"
"Not exactly. He sent his friend this time!"
Again, not very convincing.
My Mom mailed her the chocolates. This time, Bad Guy, Good Guy and I never got to see it...

Image Source : Google Images


  1. Welcome back. I like chocolate.

  2. Glad you're safely back on terra firma.

  3. I think I am going to become a Chocolate Burglar.

  4. Gotta love that Terra Firma...
    "and the firma the betta!"

    What was in those chocolates?

  5. Ah, thank you for a great laugh this morning! What a weekend indeed, I guess Mars is as inhospitable as they believe, hehe.;)
    Love your style, your writing is like a breath of fresh air.
    Have a great Monday,

  6. hehhe...I knew a mad mad post was on its way after your trip to your Aunt's place..and you did not disappoint me :P

  7. A big gasp when I read you finished the entire box of chocolate! You should have hit the bad angel on your shoulder telling you to go ahead and eat the chocolate.

    The shrub cutting incident...I have two big shrubs in front of my house and there have been many, many times where I was so tempted to prune them myself. Alas, never got the nerve too because I didn't want to destroy them. Reading what happened to you reaffirms my stand that I should let the pro do the pruning and not me.

  8. You could have blame the bush on the chocolate ;o) Glad you are back on planet Earth!

  9. I'm glad you're back. Now try to behave now that you're home. Clearly you didn't when you were gone.

  10. Ask your mom to forgive you as humans tend to eat more chocolates on Mars and plants look different on Mars!! If only you can convince her about how your trip was unearthly ;)

  11. At least you enjoyed the first box of chocolates.

  12. welcome back!

    P.S. change your pen name from Mr.Stupid to Mr.Troublesome

  13. see, u can never fool mama..mamas always have this ingrained

  14. haha. welcome back...darn chocolates getting you into trouble...smiles.

  15. Uh oh, gluttony. You could have eaten a couple in the top layer, a couple in the bottom layer, and thrown away the papers and she would not have known any were gone.

  16. Welcome back! Love me some chocolate!
    Have a great week!
    ~B :))

  17. What a coincidence because I AM a chocolate burglar. Ask my kids.

    It's such a shame there are so many older people who don't understand you. I'd think your aunt would know you should be the last person in charge of trimming bushes. And why would she want to trim a bush with flowers on them? I think she set you up. She probably even sent the chocolate thief. I don't trust her.

  18. lol! At least you left some leaves on your Aunt's shrub ;)

    I couldn't be trusted with a box of chocolates either!

    Glad you made it safely back to planet Earth, Mr. Stupid!

  19. Welcome back. I didn't take them. Really, I didn't.....

  20. I would have done the same with the chocolates but blame my Aunt for eating them and for her memory loss!

  21. Tell me. What I can trust you with.
    Not chocolate, nor plants.
    My secrets perhaps. :D)

  22. I finally realized who you remind me of -- Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbes. Are you sure you don't have a tiger for a friend?

  23. Ah MS ... I keep wondering ... how old are you? LOL!

  24. lol. I think you'll need a eye patch too if you messed up my bushes! Let's not even talk about the chocolate

  25. I love chocolates! As a matter of fact, I just chewed on some few moments back, I had to stop myself because the bar of chocolate was becoming shorter and shorter, I had to safe some plus I don't want to turn into a blob. :D

    Welcome back Mr Stupid! Hope you got me a present from Mars? Did you?

  26. Oh how I've missed your hilarious anecdotes! Thank you for this wonderful post (which had me laughing throughout :D ) and welcome back :)

  27. haha sounds like quite the trip!!

    That darn burglar always gets my chocolates, too!

  28. Dang. Now I just want some chocolate. And a nap.

  29. So, aunts are from Mars then... interesting... :P

  30. After reading that episode I will say this.... No matter how much you beg me, you are not allowed to work in my garden. In fact, I'll give you a "homemade" chocolate ball if you stay away from it.

    Glad you're back from your trip from Mars. Did you get any alien tail while there? You know know, uh, comet tail.

  31. Glad your back from Mars. I missed you but I bet your aunt from Mars don't miss you since you ate all her chocolates and messed up her shrub. I bet it is hard to get your hands on some chocolates too in Mars. What a gift it would of been to have some chocolates. I bet your aunt really has some stares for you now. When are you just going to not listen to those little voices.


  32. You are such an entertaining, funny writer,
    Mr. S. You didn't know that you can't eat just one chocolate without eating the entire box? I thought everyone knew that.

  33. You are funny! Bet you are darn popular in school, in college and every where you go. I am the "funny" aunt with my nieces and nephews but still can't beat you. I am learning, keep blogging, I need more funny stuffs to feed my curious nieces and nephews.

  34. I'm glad you are back!!!!!!!! LOL

  35. Thanks for the planetary adventure. Quite the chocolate fantasy.

  36. "thinking makes me sleep" LOL! another hilarious incident. welcome back, mr. stupid. i missed ya! :)

    ~ash's mum

  37. When it comes to chocolate, I always listen to the bad one, lol.

  38. Hi Mr Stupid. I think your Aunt got off lightly this visit!

    Ok, so the trick for next time is to buy 2 boxes of chocolates. Then bad guy can have one all to himself!

    Bearfriend xx

  39. *sigh* Never mess with the chocolate. Seriously. ;D

  40. You crack me up! I know I missed several of your posts, but I never thought that you could go that far. Tell your aunt that martians are really boring people to be with. That they take life so seriously. LOL!


  41. isn't that funny?! bad guy and good guy are here at my place all the time!! why just a few min ago bad guy was conning me into eating chocolate chip cookies. how can we have these villians removed for good?!?!

  42. I don't even like chocolate that much. I'm so glad that I don't have to worry about delemas such as these.

  43. Mmmm. Chocolate. Thinking makes you sleepy, huh? Silly. :)

  44. Always go with bad guy. I love a guy who appreciates chocolate.

  45. Back from Mars eh. I had a Mars chocolate bar once. It was a better chosen name than Uranus bar.
    Welcome back from Mars. I was there and looked for you. Sadly my space captain took a wrong turn at the asteroid belt and yes, we ended up on Uranus...Have a good day and it's nice to see your icon on almost every blog I visit.
    Kind wishes and a chocolate your way from the 'wee folks, Gary :-)

  46. thank god you are arrived safe but what about people on mars i dont think your aunt will miss you much,you are a gift lovely post wonderful writing god bless u dear

  47. God you're funny...had a good laugh, i guess being stupid ins't such a bad thing after all :)

  48. I never can eat just one! Oreos are the worst!