Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Art Lessons

My mom wanted her sons to be swimmers. One of those sons hated water and pretended to be allergic to it. So, the other was forced into swimming. Unfortunately, that was me.

After the horrible
Trip to Water Hell, my mom signed me up for Art lessons.
She stood near our car and looked excited "Guess what? I just signed you up for Art Lessons."

Those two words were enough to scare a seven year old. I ran around our front yard screaming. My mom caught me after five minutes of chasing.

"Okay. That was a good chase. Now let's go."


We arrived at a white building. There were many women by the Parking lot. They were my mom's friends and were waving at our car. My mom was going to wait for me until I got back from the class.
I walked in with my backpack. With me were a few more kids. All being forced into something called Art.


After walking around for a few minutes, I found a seat and set all my paints on the table. A guy arrived. He looked at all of us and said "Hello kids. Welcome to your art lessons. For the first lesson, you can draw whatever you like..."

I started painting. Mr. Art teacher kept walking around and commenting on everybody's art. Finally, he arrived at my table.

"That's a really nice painting of..."
he stared at the paper for a few minutes. "a dog holding a stick in his hand and blowing fire from his mouth?"

"Actually, that's a dragon. See, he's destroying the city here and that's a building in his hand. It happens to be the place where my neighbor works."

"Oh, okay."
Mr. Art teacher was shocked. He looked at my painting again and said "Very good. You may continue."


After one hour, I was done with my painting. Mr. Art teacher wanted everyone to bring their paper to the front. I was really excited to show him my finished art. My turn arrived and I walked to him with it.

He looked at it closely and said "So, you've added a few more buildings at the back and... a huge cow?"

"That's not a cow,"
I smiled at Mr. Art teacher. "It's a dragon. He was called by the first dragon since there was a lot more to destroy."

"Alright. And what's with all these monkeys?"

"These are people running around. If you look closely, there is one man holding a banner."

He looked at the drawing closely and read out the lines-


HELP! My Office was just eaten by a Dragon. Now, another Dragon is headed to my house. I wonder who told them about me.

Mr. Neighbor


"So, you were the one who told them about Mr. Neighbor?"

"Exactly..."
I smiled at Mr. Art teacher.
He handed my drawing after giving it a C and drew a grumpy expression on it.

"Now, I want you all to draw a flower. Remember to make it colorful and use only light shades. Alright, begin..."

Mr. Art teacher again decided to walk around and comment on paintings. He arrived near my table and screamed "Oh my god! What hideous thing is that?"
"That's the first dragon holding a flower."
"And this ugly head?"
he pointed at the corner of the paper.
"That's the second dragon peeping inside the picture. They are giving this flower to Mr. Neighbor as a gift."


Everything that happened next took place in slow motion. Mr. Art teacher set down my drawing and looked at me "The dragon in this picture looks like a huge bird that's not been eating for a year. Son, you'll never be an artist."
The last part was enough to make me upset. That triggered my seven year old hands to pick the paintbrush and paint Mr. Art teacher's face.

I was escorted out of the building. Mr. Art teacher's face was all colorful. He handed my mom the drawings. Then, he gave us looks and left.
My mom had planned on showing my drawings to Mrs. Neighbor. After looking at the banner, she knew it wasn't a safe thing to do.

Image Source:
Google Images

47 comments:

  1. Oh man. you were obsessed with those dragons. I bet the dragon holding the flower was lovely. I would have given you an A and I haven't even seen it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. People just don't understand dragons and the amazingness behind them!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. To be fair, dogs, cows and dragons are all very closely related. That's why you should never light a match anywhere near a dog or a cow that's been eating beans.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You appear to like the dragons, I wonder if they really existed.
    Loved the post.
    Have a peaceful Sunday.
    Yvonne,

    ReplyDelete
  5. Heh, ya tried. What I don't like about Mr art teacher's comment is when he said "Son, you'll never be an artist." You should never tell someone that they'll never become something.

    That's what Elvis Presley was told by someone "stick to a truck, because you'll never make it as a singer."

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dragons are mystical. Your art teacher was wrong about your creativity! You have just begun.........
    Have a wonderful Sunday

    ReplyDelete
  7. People just aren't very good art critics - the worst are art teachers (probably becuase they are frustrated not very good artists themselves) Great post btw I love dragons :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good for you for making the art teacher face look so colorful. hehehe!!!

    ~Gina~
    motherof1princessand2princes.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your neighbour's family really occupy your mind.
    Don't be too obsessed with them.

    ReplyDelete
  10. painting your art teacher...thats like modern art right? smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Draw me some dragons right now!! GO!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. As usual, what an entertaining post.;) Not too worry that your artistic skills did not live up to the teachers expectations, your writing skills make up for it plenty.;)
    I hope you are having a great weekend,
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love kids' art -- especially when they draw dragons.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love how grown-ups are always chasing you around in your stories. You must be a great runner by now!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Some people just don't understand art!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. You live in a sitcom, don't you! No...you ARE a sitcom! Just discovered your site and I'm lovin' it!

    Rick

    ReplyDelete
  17. This was priceless! I too had a similar experience but mine about sent back to kindergarten. LOL :)

    Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

    ReplyDelete
  18. Love your attention to detail! The banner was a perfect touch. You know, artistic genius is never appreciated in the artist's lifetime ;)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Art is about feeling something; You succeeded you made him feel something. He didn't like how it made him feel, but You did make art! Why do people insist on certain styles being art.
    Makes me mad... Art is everywhere...
    I loved that you painted his face; How artistic of you ;-D

    I was driven to art lessons; It was memorable. A neighbor and me...our parents were friends. He was fifteen, I was thirteen. Odd little old lady, lots of nude paintings everywhere in the mystical Bayride. This is the small community that was known for seances and fortune telling.
    She was frustrated with me; She loved my neighbor, but me...I asked to many questions.
    Her initials on all her paintings were OWL, but honestly, she didn't give a hoot. We were her meal ticket to some weekend liquor.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think he's stupid for telling you you'd never be an artist. I'm sure your paintings were better than some of the abstract "art" that sells for thousands of dollars. So there!
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  21. Is there any chance you can post these works of art on here? I am intrigued by these dragons and monkeys! I wonder why your art teacher is having a hard time deciphering your drawings! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ha! This is wonderful, Mr. Stupid. Poor Mr. Art teacher, but then again, I suppose it serves him right. After all, there's no such thing as bad art just...different art, right? :D

    ReplyDelete
  23. "blink"I love how you started experimenting your art skills painting Mr Art teacher's face LOL!
    He is stupid for telling a child that horrible thing.
    B;)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh Mr. Stupid! You were so misunderstood as an artist! It's so hard to be a visionary....

    ReplyDelete
  25. I didn't know Mr Grumpy was allergic to water. The man is strange! LOL. And you were so cute. What kind of Art teacher would say all those nasty things, about your adorable drawing! Well, he's a fool! I would love to paint your neighbor's face for fun with you!

    Happy friendship day, Mr S :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Frankly, I would've painted the art teacher's face too. My defense would've been: "It's art!" :P

    ReplyDelete
  27. I see you draw friendly dragons LOL
    Loved the post.

    I wonder if you would be interested in appearing on The Sunday Roast. You and your blog are just the thing I am looking for:

    Please write to me at:

    eddiebluelights@googlemail.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. nice drawing...
    you have got talents!

    ReplyDelete
  29. http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/08/02/the-celebrate-blogger-awards-plus-prayers-4-viola/

    awards are fun,
    viola lost her husband,
    I lost a general friend,
    all together,
    please visit and give love to them...
    thanks

    ReplyDelete
  30. You sound like a very typical boy all into dragons and boy stuff-- Your art teacher wasn't such a nice guy ;-)
    jj

    ReplyDelete
  31. Nice story. Very entertaining indeed

    ReplyDelete
  32. What a C? He shouldn't have been an Art teacher!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I would have given you an A but then I don't teach art.....

    ReplyDelete
  34. A C??? wtf Mr Art teacher... Im glad you painted him.....

    ReplyDelete
  35. Well that's just plain MEAN! You poor kid.

    ReplyDelete
  36. And they call him an Art teacher...Sounds like he knows nothing of art! How can you grade art?

    I would have hung your painting on the refrigerator!

    Now following!

    ReplyDelete
  37. hope that you feel better after writing this out.

    http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/07/pick-one-or-two-to-share-follow-rule-no.html
    hope that you enjoy one or two,
    Happy August!
    Smiles!
    ;)

    thanks for commenting on my magpie tale.

    ReplyDelete
  38. She's the WORST art teacher? Cow, dog, monkeys? She was SUPPOSED to say, "Tell me about your picture." Then the moron would've know they were dragons and people. And I'm sure your neighbor was asking for it.

    My son drew soldiers killing one another until... I think he still does it. I don't think he knows how to draw a flower.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hahaha...
    perhaps you must draw the face of your art teacher while the dragon blow fire to his face...
    must be very very colourful...

    very nice post Mr.S!!

    ReplyDelete
  40. From the point you ran around the yard screaming, I couldn't stop smiling!

    ReplyDelete
  41. When you painted Mr. Art Teacher's face, did you paint two dragons and a flower on him?

    ReplyDelete
  42. Totally died laughing.
    I happen to love swimming and I have an art degree and I use to draw dragons all. the. time.

    So I totally died laughing.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I'm so jealous, you got thrown out of art class for drawing dragons. I was signed up for an extra period of music when I was in first grade because I sucked that bad at art. I can't even draw stick people right, let alone a dragon!

    ReplyDelete
  44. missed u,
    hope that all is well.
    take good care.
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  45. I guess he wasn't an abstract artist teacher?

    ReplyDelete
  46. This blog is great source of information which is very useful for me. Thank you very much.

    BEST TIPS TO FRENCH KISS A GIRL.

    ReplyDelete