Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Soft Drink Mishaps

I love Soft drinks. But they tend to attract bad luck while in my hands. They bring trouble and then laugh at me. The Black liquid is just Evil.

Mishap 1

Bad luck struck for the first time in a theater. We were late by five minutes and had to find our seats quick. My parents gave me the responsibility to hold two Large Cokes. I wonder why they did that.
Anyway, I moved around clumsily while people kept yelling. I found our seats and walked towards them. The glasses were still in my hands and I was looking at them to make sure they didn't fall down. And that was when it happened.
I tripped on a guy's shoe and one on the glasses slipped from my hand. It flew towards the seat in the front and disappeared. The next moment, a man stood up. His face was all wet and he looked angry.

"You dropped Soda on my head..."
he yelled.
I didn't know what to say "He did it!" I pointed towards my brother.
he protested.
"Who dropped the soda on my head?"
the man demanded.
"Yeah. Who dropped soda on his head?"
I said. My brother was stunned. He said the same thing. The man stared at both of us. The soda was still dripping from his head.

The guy sitting next to me was the reason I tripped. He couldn't resist staying out of the conversation.

"You should be glad he didn't drop it on your jeans. Now, that could have been embarrassing."

"You think this is funny? Let's see how you would react if a can of soda fell on your head."
The man snatched the other glass from my hand and poured the soda on the guy's head. The two people were now soaked in coke. They were yelling at each other and I was standing in between them. My brother pulled me and we fled.

Mishap 2

I was in our Living Room watching Spiderman when my brother walked in. He was drinking Coke and placed the glass on top of our TV. I know, bad place to keep it. We had a stupid conversation,

"Why doesn't this guy have all hairy legs and hands? He's a Spider right?"
"He's a Spiderman. Not a Spider. I guess he uses Hair removal cream or something..."
I said.
"Ewww. That's weird. And what's with the white thing coming out of his hands?"
"That's the result of eating glue in first grade. Maybe, it collects in the hands."
"Glue? Wow..."
"You should have some white stuff in your hands. Remember? You ate glue in first grade."

"I did a lot of crime fighting the other day and its all over."
"In that case, have some more."

He stared at me and threw a pillow. I caught it and threw it back. It charged towards his face but he ducked. Oh no! The pillow hit the glass of coke and the black stuff fell inside our TV. There were a few weird sounds. I was expecting a "BOOM", but that never happened. My parents gave me stares when I said, it was part of a Science Experiment.

Mishap 3

In fourth grade, my friends did an extensive research and said, gargling Coke after brushing keeps teeth white. I fell for that stupid idea and tried it one morning. I was done brushing my teeth and got back to my room. Then, I gargled the Coke and spat it out through the window. The next moment, there was a voice.
"Oh my God! What's this stuff?"
It was definitely Mr. Neighbor. I couldn't peep out. So I ran to the kitchen and waited at the dining table for breakfast. Once I was done eating, I left for the School bus. Mr. Neighbor was still standing at the same spot looking up.
"Good Morning."
I greeted him.
"The weirdest thing just happened."
he said. "Lots of water fell on my head from nowhere."
I had to say something "Where did it come from?"
"The sky..."
"Oh. Maybe, it was the Airplanes. These passengers, throw away junk and it always manages to fall down."
"I am not joking. You do realize that your window is just above us. Did you have anything to do with it?"
he sounded suspicious.
"Nope. I don't drink Coke..."
"Hey. I said water had fallen on my head, not coke."
"Well... Water is called Coke in short!"

Mr. Neighbor checked with my brother who confirmed I was lying. I gained another spot on his
"People to Hate" list.

Image Source :
Google Images


  1. Once upon a time I used to repair TVs for a living and the number of sets that had coke poured in side them by some careless kid (forgive me) was amazing. If the set was switched on there might be a short-circuit and all sorts of flashes and bangs. However if the set was turned off the Coke (other products are available) would rot the circuit board!

  2. LOl! So you are the kind that passes the buck! Soda will never seem the same after reading your mishaps!

  3. Soda, particularly Coke, is not really good for our health. And it makes life even worse when you're around. LOL!

    Good day Mr. S!

  4. Oh Mr S you are just really unlucky arent you. Thankfully I'd never have that problem becuase I don't like soda. Hope you're having a touble free, soda incident free Friday. :)

  5. Oh no! Who knew soda could cause such troubles? Mr. Neighbor must have quite a big file on you, Mr. Stupid!

    Have a fabulous Friday! :)

  6. this one made me laugh because i have had my share of soda mishaps. the problem is when they get shaken up they spray all over the unsuspecting - oh and ugh!! bad memories of bad bad sodas gone wrong......

  7. are you for real? LOL. and here i was thinking that i was a trouble-maker in the family. my parents should meet you. :p

    ~ash's mum

  8. lol. why do i have the feeling you could keep going with examples...i do fee for your parents...

  9. A 12 oz can of coke has ten teaspoons of sugar - why would you rinse your teeth after brushing with a sugar/acid combo? Additionally, the phosphoric acid in coke causes the body to lose calcium and leads to osteoporosis.

    You're right about one thing - it is evil stuff!

  10. Dear Mr S ... You really should think about writing a book ... you're stories are so funny. You really were a cheeky little monkey weren't you...but I bet you knew how to get away with it too! Cheeky but masterful!!

  11. Damn too hilarious :D)
    Lost my words.

  12. You're great at passing the blame, aren't you?

  13. I can relate, I have these moments of dropping things, being clumsy. My Dad was a projectionist, small theater, he arrived early to check the film. He had the key to the theater.
    I brought two of my friends, I said, Dad do you have any passes; he didn't. I hid my friends so they didn't have to pay; Brother n' sister.
    Ticket booth opens, man comes in...I told them to just sit and act normal, but they won't. This man thinks they are fooling around in the corner and decides to sit n' watch. I had to go get my Dad. I told them to sit normal...
    I can remember people dumping popcorn on the wrong guy and there be arguments, just like your soda mishap! Thanks for the trip down
    memory lane~ I agree it is liquid, black, evil,...I wish I didn't like it!

    Your writing flows, nicely~Fun to read!

  14. Yes, I agree too that coke is EVIL! Have you ever dropped a piece of meat into a glass of it? The coke actually EATS it! So imagine what it must do to your insides. Your insides will soon be your outsides if you keep on drinking it!
    Also, it's good for cleaning copper long as you remember to rinse it off with WATER!
    Loved this post!

  15. My kids love to do all sorts of science experiments with coke. It will eat through a penny. Imagine what it does to our stomachs.....

  16. The guys in the movie theater had it coming.

    In the meantime, stay away from my soda...

  17. your parents must be cool,
    they must be proud of your brother and you...

    very smart writings...

  18. hehehe I loved the first Mishap...just too good :)

  19. I was cringing throughout the whole story. Mishaps scare me, especially when they involve Coke products!

  20. Great and funny post! I also tend to have bad luck with sodas. Just last night I knocked on off the counter in our kitchen. It wouldn't have been so bad, but we just paid a small fortune to have the tile and GROUT cleaned...

  21. No more soda for you!!!

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  22. When I was at that blogging conference, I had a giant cup of soda, which spilled all over the floor, of course. Thankfully, it was Sprite and was clear.

  23. This is brilliant, Mr. Stupid! Mishap 1 had me laughing out loud with joy, you really ought to write some sort of sitcom, you know. It would be a huge success :D

  24. That is crazy! Sounds like soda is just too much trouble!

  25. Do you have alot of cavities from rinsing Coke instead of mouthwash or water? You're too much Mr. Stupid! Have A Great 4th of July!!! :o)


  26. You have some great stories. I wish this stuff happened to me so I could write humorous posts about them.

    I fought crime the other day too, shhhh!

  27. I love that you guys call our soft drink your soda....

  28. LOL!!!! You need to compile all these stories..this would be a great sitcom

  29. DOH! lol. The movie theater pop reminds me of my daughters experience - somewhat - last night. They went to see Twilight for the second time and she came home with a soaked purse. The people (they didn't know them) sitting next to her knocked a full pop over into her purse. Everything soaked.

  30. toink!... gone out of wits... hahahah! natalee is correct... thanks for the drop...

  31. This just goes to show, no good can come from sodas. They always give me headaches.

  32. I love goofy people. They can be the most fun.
    Be blessed. Be a blessing.
    DJ GlenMC

  33. "Water is called Coke in short." That's classic, coke classic. You are so funny!

  34. You bring up a lot of important questions. Like, where does all that white stuff come from?

    I will ponder this tonight and lose much sleep.


    Please pick 2 to 5 awards from the post.
    Enjoy the fun!

  36. Thanks for reassuring me that my daughter will graduate college before she can be trusted with an open cup.

    The worst I ever did was spill orange pop on a white rug. Never did come out. I was in high school. My husband refers to this as my "drinking problem".