Thursday, February 25, 2010

Motherboard Down!

"Wash your face"
"Comb your Hair"
"Sit up straight"
"And don't you ever turn me ON"


That was all that she said before she went down.
Who else? - My Motherboard.

I was working on something really important. Yup, I was playing Chess on my Computer. It was a Do or Die situation.
Master Chess guy requested me to defeat this so called Computer.
I was loosing miserably and that was when my Computer went Buzz, Boom and Ka-Boom. OK, not Ka-Boom. But it sure went Buzz and Boom.

This is the third time she has failed and now I am really upset. Look at your screen carefully. Maybe you will find ,my really upset not so happy face.


I am going to the guy who repaired my Motherboard the last time. The second time I took it, he tried hiding under his desk. I hope he's not left Town this time.


Too bad, I can't use my Dad's laptop. He is always speaking to his clients. Writing a blog isn't something that is convincing enough for him to let go of his work.

I can't get to my brother's laptop. Every time, I get even a bit close to it, he somehow comes to know I am there. The access is password protected. I hacked it a couple of times though.

The first time, his password was "PASSWORD" duh!

The second time it was "123456789" bigger duh!


I am now at an Internet Cafe. Sorry about not commenting or visiting your blogs. I will get back to all your blogs pretty soon.

Too bad, I can't comment from here. I am out of money and my brother's the only one who can get me out of this place. Hope he comes!

As for the Motherboard, I am going to take a stick with me. That might frighten Mr. Computer fixer...

Monday, February 22, 2010

My Moment of Truth!

Yesterday was another day of complete boredom. To reduce the level of boredom, I decided to watch Television.
Sometimes, watching that box can ruin a day further. Yesterday was one such day.


I was channel hopping. It is something that you do when you browse channels from 1 to 999 not realizing many of them are a repetition!


I landed on a really hideous TV program,
"The Moment of Truth". The humiliation and the type of questions were disgusting. So I managed to change to Cartoons, sorry National Geographic...

Maybe, its time for me to confess the Truth. Since I don't have any lie detectors around, I decided to choose what was true and false.

Note - Anything in Bold is False or simply not True!


I managed to punch a guy.
All he did was steal candy from me.

I learned Karate.
I have attained the Black Belt.
OK, I have reached Green Senior. I've got my belts by cheap bribery!


I defeated my cousin sister in Tug of War.
I was 17 then and she was 8.

I have never troubled my neighbor. We are very good friends...


Some guy on TV said Candies aren't good for my teeth.
I have never had one since.

I respected my Teachers.
And have never teased them.

I am an Astronaut. NASA refused to accept my talent.
I am destined to be an Astronaut.

I wasn't the one who broke two Cameras, my Television and its Remote.

I visited Harry Potter in
Hogwarts. He was impressed with my Witchcraft abilities. I am a Part time Witch!

So, that was a lot of lying. Hit me on the head for every lie. And use only a Pillow!
I wonder how many times I would have been buzzed if was on that show. At least, I didn't humiliate myself on National Television!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Dream, Demon and the Dog!

Nightmares are really scary. They happen when you have irritated you brain enough and its time for him to take revenge.
My Brain was exhausted with me and so yesterday was payback time!

I had a triple "D" nightmare. And that's really bad for a guy who generally can't sleep alone in his room fearing the monsters under his bed.

It was a pleasant dream with me looking out to nature. Though, I was going upwards.
Where was I? - On a Roller Coaster. Oh my god! There was a Loop and then a huge Over banked turn. Both eagerly waiting for me.

On my right, enjoying the ride with me is Ronald McDonald. The same freakish clown guy with white paint all over his face and lipstick. The clown who sits on an empty chair at most McDonald's restaurants. He was the Demon!

The ride ultimately ends with me screaming like a wierdo and brings me to my house. Its deserted. All I see around me is my dog's nature call results. Everywhere! This generally happens in my room in real life. Anyways, I didn't have to do any cleaning. Hey, it was just a dream.

There was some more horror waiting though. My neighbor decides to drop in with a Katana Sword.
"Son, you've troubled me all these years. Its time we fight!"
"Hey, all I have done is spoil your lawn and then tattoo your door."
"That's enough bad things. Choose a weapon. Fork or a Spoon?"

I had no choice. The fork could at least poke him. So, I chose it. The fight began and then ended all of a sudden.

This time I am at another house. It looks very similar though.
Oh yeah, its my neighbor's house. The same guy wanting to fight me. Maybe he's looking for me at my house with the Sword.

A peep into the road reveals cops. Yes, C-O-P-S
These guys were all wearing Santa suits. They did have guns though. There was a Coastguard, two helicopters and an Ambulance. Outside one of the cars was Ronald McDonald. The same freakish guy from the Roller Coaster. He was holding a Loudspeaker and then yelled, "Mr. Neighbor, please put the Sword down and get out of that house!"

My Neighbor is now back in his own house. We fight again. Me with the fork. In fact, I was winning!
And then there is chaos outside. The clown guy already freakish, freaks out and makes a run in his car. My neighbor runs too.

On getting out, I find a Dinosaur. The guy is really upset with people and wants to destroy the world. There is one difference though. There was no dinosaur head. Just my Dog's. Oh no! My Dog wanted to destroy the whole world.


All this foolishness didn't wake me up except for the fact that my dog was a dinosaur. It took me several minutes to interpret what had happened and then I screamed.
Ironically, my dog decided to sleep in my room yesterday. Looking at him I screamed again. He was least bothered though. He went back to sleep. So did I.

Coming to the dream, I wonder why I had my neighbor in it. Though, I have done lots more bad than what I mentioned. As for Ronald McDonald, the guy freaks me out even in real life...

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Memory Loss Aunt

Having a family that is filled with personalities is great to live in. A Dog who feels as if he's the most important guy in the world. An uncle who can pretend really well to be the best carpenter. An aunt, who often forgets simple words, names and everything else important. And many others who can do really well at whatever wrong they do!

Coming to my Aunt, she has trouble remembering things. It can be Birthdays or people's names. She never has it at the tip of her tongue.

One such time was when I was very young, I guess 11. My brother and I decided to give her a surprise visit. He was 15 then. The door opened.
She said, "Who's this?"
"Surprise! We have traveled all the way alone to meet you."
, he said.
"
Great! Now go back home or your parents will get worried..."
Slam, the door was already shut.

All I could do was laugh, but there were tears on the guy next to me. He was either heartbroken or the door slammed on his nose. We still stood there, as this wasn't what we were expecting. My brother decided to give it another shot. The door opened again.
"Don't you remember us?"

It took her a few minutes. "Oh... Boys I am really sorry!"
I had learned a new meaning for "Memory Loss" that day.

She had even named her cat, "Cat". This was just to make sure she never forgot his name. It was name forgetting everywhere. At work, most of her colleagues would be inquired upon, "Since when have you been working here?". It sure must be a forgetful environment.

She couldn't even remember her birthday. It was again my brother giving her a call once.
"Happy Birthday Aunt..."
"Thanks for remembering."
"So, how are you?"
, he said.
"I am doing good. How are your kids?"
"I don't have any..."
, was the reply.
"Good for you. And how is your wife?"
"I am not married either."
"Nice. Hope your work is going on well."
"I..."
, he was just starting to talk.
"Nice to have spoken to you. I am busy right now. Bye!"


There was again the sad face. But this time no door slamming or nose breaking. Just the phone call getting disconnected on the other side. He wasn't employed. Just studying. Too bad, he couldn't complete a dignified talk.

They say "Memory Loss" is hereditary. I just hope, I don't even get close to it.
To be frank, sometimes I tend to forget simple words like...

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A Band Saw manual

Band saws are infamous hand tools found at Woodworking shops, factories and other boring and ridiculously smelling places.

One such smelly place is my Uncle's shed. He has one of them and takes care of it all the time. Maybe that was the reason why it now looks like a Garbage truck, only rusty on the edges and a sticker which peels out even though it has been glued over a hundred times!

There is a certain section of the male society that feel such an affinity towards tools, even though they realize they cannot use them. My Uncle is one among them. And he tops this chart.

All he's done with those workshop machines and tools is stand next to them and say "Eeeee", "Oooo" and sometimes "Aaaaa"
Just for the photographs. He doesn't say "Cheese" ever.
And you never want to see those photographs and the expressions!

I had to do something good for the society. So here goes some safety tips while using this, not-so-useful machine. Their manuals have many instructions. But, maybe they should consider adding these:

Do not dissect Snacks. Even though there is someone telling you to cut open that French fry, don't do it. Make sure, you don't try Nachos either. They get through pretty easy. You will wonder later, why you had to break such a beautiful piece of Nacho.

For the few ridiculously minded folks out there, you guys need to say away from the Band saw. There are some who decide to get a manicure done on the band saw. Do it only if you want your fingers to feel guilty that they were holding on to the nails and sad for being a part of you. Now if you're successful at doing fingernails, don't be confident enough to trim toenails. In case you do it, thanks for purchasing our product. It was great knowing you.

We will send you money for a haircut. Don't try to cut costs by putting your head into the machine. This can lead to excessive hair loss and even baldness. In case, you use a wig, don't throw it under the band saw. It will end up to resemble long strands of hair. Now, if you want those, do it!

Wear glasses. We mean glasses that can protect your eyes from tiny pieces of anything that you cut and the ones through which you can see. Make sure to buy glasses that are see-through.

Now those, are some very important things you should consider if you want yourself in one piece. Just in case, send me your Piggy bank money before you try a Band saw...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Day dude and the days!

Every week is made up of seven days of equal depth, height and area. It depends on one particular day and after a boring ridiculous five days, it ends with one last day. Once that is done, another week is ready to start off from the beginning.

I hate all the days of a week except for Sundays. All I do is sit on the couch and visualize something on the wall. In other words, daydream - A great hobby for anyone having a really bad time or looking for a good job.

A week starts with either Monday or Sunday and ends with either Sunday or Saturday. Sometimes a week begins on Wednesday and ends on a Tuesday. I hope, I am not the only one saying that.

They say that Days got their names from planetary or numerical meanings. But they were all wrong.

Sunday which is the most appreciated day fell on the "Day naming ceremony". This day was particularly very sunny and "The Day Dude" decided to name it Sunnyday or in short, Sunday.
Day dude who? - Well, he was the guy who was assigned to name the days of a week. He sure did a good job!

Monday was declared next. It took Day dude a whooping 6 hours to decide upon a name. The sun had gone now and so arrived the Moon. At first look, he decide it should be Moonday. Since it had him standing for so long, he decided to name it Moronday. But considering its usage by children, the "o" from the first and the "r" from the second were removed resulting in Monday.

Tuesday is the second or third day of the week. It traditionally occurs after Monday, but also after Sunday, although it never happens straight after Sunday as this space is occupied by ridiculous Monday. Tuesday was named after Mars. I wonder what Day dude was thinking. "Tue" and "Mar" had nothing in common. Not even the alphabets.
Rumor was that Day dude texted his uncle "Tuesdude" asking if he was going to return the bike he had borrowed. He never got a reply. But he sure got an idea - the day was named after his robber uncle!

Wednesday was next. Day dude had to think a lot for this one. He finally gave up and called his Mom. She decided it should be called Wednesday. Day dude never got any credit for this one. It was only his mom who received a $50 Amazon gift card.

Thursday was decided when Day dude had a vision about all the good stuff that would come on TV. Though, the guy never realized that they were all later aired on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

Friday arrived when Day dude started feeling hungry. One of the guys behind Day dude decided to call Domino's. A large Cheese pizza was ordered. Zoom came a delivery boy. With him was the large pizza. But there was something more. French Fries! Day dude couldn't thank him enough. He had found the name. Friedday or Fryday became, Friday.

Saturday was coined once Day dude was done eating. The guy was really selfish. He never thanked the delivery boy for helping him with his name. Nor did he share the food with anyone. All he had to do now was sit and rest. And so, the name, Saturday from "Sat".
After the naming ceremony was done, many agreed that Saturday should also be associated with Day dude's Selfish behavior.

I love Sundays. Monday is on its way though... zzzz...

Friday, February 12, 2010

How to do just about anything!

While looking at my computer screen like a half dazed person, I came across a website. The guys were trying to sell a book. It looked really familiar - "How to do just about anything with XP"

Just a year back, a Salesman had convinced my Mom to purchase it. Well, the problem was, we had Vista and not XP.
She always has a tough time with Salesmen. They show her a product. But she always goes with the freebie. So even though, the item is not at all necessary, we manage to get it.

Today, all of a sudden it started staring at me. Yeah, the book. So I had to take it out of the shelf. I was then exposed to "Hundreds of ways to get more out of my PC". That was the sideline on the book.

It took me well over 10 minutes to study the cover. Maybe it was the right time for me to open it. The book was pretty amazing with so many tips, I had never known. The problem was, I used Vista and not XP.

I still find it hard to accept how this book will help me with just about everything. I guess the author had a bad nightmare where a Tooth fairy said him to go ahead and write a book. In exchange to the idea, he had to give away his tooth for no coins.
Now, these are some hard chores, I do everyday. Hope the book can help me with all of them:

Wake me up in the morning. The time when I am really upset. Even with my pet sponge and the Camels poster in my room..


Brush my teeth. Squirt toothpaste onto my brush. Forget its done and do it again. Drop some in the sink. Brush my chin and cheeks instead of my teeth.

Sing with me in a really annoying voice in the shower. This is just to annoy my neighbor who is on the other side of the wall. Also call him names and try to make him feel guilty about living next door.

Pet my pet sponge,
"Spongy". Yeah, that's his name. Teach him the alphabets and sing with him at least one song. Rock or Solo.

Make a story with my G.I. Joe action figures. Also sing the theme song.

Walk my dog, feed my dog, accept all the fuss. Pat him for all the good and bad things he does. Feed him anything he wants. Pay for the food too.

Share my food. Eat all the broccoli. No candies and other sweet tasting stuff though!

Successfully count all the camels in my poster. Do it all again when you go wrong.


My humble advice to you would be to get the book. Maybe he will help you too. Now to wait and see if my book helps me out...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

My 8th grade, a big joke!

A teacher is enough to ruin an entire year. My 8th grade was ruined that way. Having a teacher who would go on with lectures which were stupid.
Now his lectures didn't have any mathematics. All it had was his life, in a really boring village, in a really boring family and some really boring adventures he would boast about.

I laugh at practically everything. I did the same even then. I would laugh at all his not so funny jokes and really foolish stories.

The guy was even nicknamed Sir Boring. There were others who would call him King Idiocious. Is that a nickname?
All this nicknaming made me forget his real name.

A Parent Teacher meeting was held once. The worst part was informing us a week in advance. The thought made us worry for the whole week. My Dad was really busy and couldn't make it to the meeting. So he decided to address a letter to Sir Boring. He was done with the letter and then went back to the "To" part.
"What's your Teacher's name?"
"Sir, Borrriin...."
Yes, I  said that. There was a stare. Maybe of shock or disbelief if that was his real name.
Well, nothing went to the "To" part. It was just a "Dear Sir".

And then, there were his really ridiculous stories. One was about a journey to the farm. The other was about how he had burnt all the matchsticks in a new matchbox. They never made any sense. But by the time, he got to the moral of the story...

*Tring*

The school bell would go off. So it was always the next time. But the next day, it was a different story and again no moral!

One such story was about his childhood days. The time when he and two more kids had dug a hole in their farm.
A hole? Why the hell did they do that?
And then, one of the kids fell in. The other two kids fell in accidentally next.
Both of them accidentally? This was dumb as ever. But all we could do was listen patiently.

And then, one of the kids, had to attend to nature's call. He couldn't hold it any longer, so he started shouting for his mother. But nobody came. There was no other way. So he had to do it in the small hole. This was getting really hard to believe. There was a Small hole in the hole they had dug? I wonder why. Maybe it was made for such emergencies.

The story had to roam around some more bits about shouting for help. Sir Boring would even enact parts from his adventure.
"Help, Help, we shouted. But no! There was nobody around to help. Except for the Moon and the clouds"


Sir, that was idiotic. There are many people who live in a place called Earth. Why do you try going towards the sky when there are so many guys around you. Anyways, the story continued.

After almost 5 hours in the pit, his Mother was able to find the boys. Hooray they said. But in vain. They were yelled upon really bad.
Any moment, the moral had to come up. But no. There was the bell going off. "I will get back to the story tomorrow!" The tomorrow never came though. It was a different boring story.

My 8th grade was one big waste. All I learned was many unfinished stories and some Mathematics.The story made me wonder, if it was Sir Boring who had to pee and not the other kids. Well, that remained a mystery. "King Idiocious" was not a bad name after all...

Monday, February 8, 2010

The wrong Cutting Boy

I love playing pranks on everyone. It gets better when I am doing it on my elder brother. Well, he never realizes the brain behind the prank even though, I am always around the scene of the happening...

So a month back, I was successful at sneaking into my brother's room and getting his Mobile Phone. OK, I was a thief. But it doesn't matter...


Anyways, as I was getting out with the phone, I was caught. Not by my brother but Tyson, my dog. The guy knew I was up to no good and started the "Level 10" barking. This is the level at which he is really loud and annoying. The only thing I could do was throw back his phone and get out of the place.


But yesterday, I got a bit clever. Everyone accepts some bribe. So does my dog. So I had to part from the Sneakers Bar I had with me. He wanted the whole thing and not just a half piece. But, at least I was getting ready for some whole lot of fun.


The only person in the world who would save the number of his Barber is my brother. Unbelievable. And guess what he's named him? - Cutting Boy. That is silly and the name is out of this world in idiocy. I managed to change his number and add in mine there.


Tyson was still outside having my Sneaker bar. There was still some left. I could have taken it. But I didn't. I am honest and never cheat in bribery. I waited while my brother got back to his room. The texting carnival was just beginning...


"Hey there. Its been a long time. You have never arrived for an Hair cut..."

It took him almost 10 minutes to reply to that. I guess he didn't expect a message from the Cutting Boy.

"No thanks. I just got one a week back."

"That's alright. You can simply drop by for another haircut today."

This was getting really funny.
After some more time came a reply, "I am sorry. I have work today. Have a good day!"
I wasn't giving up that quick. I texted him again, "If not you. At least send in somebody else. Does your brother need a haircut?"

Now this reply was quicker than I thought. "I will send him right away. He is doing nothing as of now and sure does need a haircut. His hair looks like a large bush. You might need a garden shear. Here, take his number..."


That was the end. It was a no man's game. But at least, I was the one winning. Maybe, he had checked on the Cutting Boy's number.

I was convinced he had realized, it was me. I was pretty sure at least Tyson would have back stabbed me. But no!
At Dinner, he told my Dad,
"The barber just down the street messages me today calling me for a haircut. Really weird."
I had to say something, "Hey, you share your phone number with a total stranger? And you message your barber?"

I never say all this. I guess my Dad had realized what had happened. But until the story doesn't pop out to my brother, everything is fine...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Mud Man and The Mud

The thing I have loved since I was a little boy were superheroes. I enjoyed them on comics and then on Television. They would get better and better each time.

Batman was my favorite. I had watched the movie, "Batman Begins" almost 8 times, with the hope that Batman would be pleased with his fan and come out of the big screen. Though, that never happened.

So, it was time for revenge. I had to create a Superhero. And so, today I present to you: "Mud Man - Fighting crime with mother earth's mud..."

Yes, he's a superhero. Faster than Andy the cow and stronger than Porky the Pig. This guy is here to fight crime.

"Tada Mud Mud Dada Mud.....  Mud Tada Dada Mud Tada Da Da Mud...."
Now that was the theme song for Mud Man. Notice the usage of Mud many times? Of course, that's what the guy's made up of.

Mud Man is endowed with powers far different and better than any superhero. All he has to do to get ready for a fight is eat some Mud. Yup, eat it, I mean swallow it. Some more all over him. Some in his pockets and a handful in his boots are enough to transform this man into a hideous looking Mud Man. But don't fall for the looks. Mud Man's strength is incomparable.

Okay, there may be a couple of minor flaws in Mud Man, but hey, every superhero has his weaknesses. I guess the guy can fight crime only in areas with mud. Now which is the place without any mud. Oh yeah, most of the places during winter. Well, no crime lord would try to terrorize earthlings during winters. Just in case, we can get Mud Man a sidekick. The guy who will help our Superhero when he's in trouble.

Now, don't worry. I've got the perfect sidekick. Meet, "Burnt Spaghetti". That's his name. Cute isn't it? Well, Mud Man prefers to have Mud in everything. So we nicknamed, Burnt Spaghetti to "The Mud"

Though, he was a bit upset about the name change, he didn't mind as he was here to fight crime. Now how Burnt Spaghetti, sorry The Mud gets his superpowers is a secret.
"I no tell you.", that's what Burnt Spaghetti told during an interview. And that was an incorrect sentence. Well, no superhero can keep a secret. It should come out someday, in grammatically wrong English.

Anyways, coming back to Mud Man, he could only fight crime in parts with mud. He'd have to keep his supply of mud replenished. But, these parts have crime too, right?
So the war against crime begins. "Blah Blah Black Sheep", yup he's a criminal, a sheep crime lord! He manages to get away with 10 tins of Sheep food. Mud Man is called in. Since there is a rich supply of Mud all around, Mud Man is able to track him down.

Blah Blah Black Sheep in his Tow truck, manages to get to muddy landfill and starts eating the stolen food. He is one bad criminal. All of a sudden, a huge glob of mud charges at him. Blah Blah dodges it. But Mud Man can't miss the second time. Another glob of mud and Blah Blah is blinded. By the time he tries to make a run, there are 3 more globs and Blah Blah surrenders.

Mud Man manages to return the tins to the kind sheep and then makes Blah Blah pay for the eaten food. He then cuffs Blah Blah and there, the world is saved again from a dangerous sheep.

Mud Man couldn't get any famous selling stuff to his fans. Hey, there is mud all around. Some mud on your shirt and now its Mud Man's shirt. Though he gains a huge fan support, Mud man isn't here for fans. He's here to fight crime.

"Tada Mud Mud...." the theme again!

P.S: Mud Man looks really sad in the picture. The reason - He was restricted from eating Popcorn by his physician. According to the Doc, "Popcorn and Mud are a bad combination..."

Friday, February 5, 2010

That's a Milestone!

After 2 months of blogging, this makes me so happy. I can't believe it. 100 followers? Wow. At first, I wondered if there were so many who liked all this boring, embarrassing and foolish things I write here. But it got fun every time.

These 2 months, I have discovered the best bloggers. Seriously, truthful from the top-right of my heart!

Reading all your blogs and commenting on them has been a whole new experience. At least, I do something useful and entertaining now. Thank you all of you for commenting and sharing your thoughts even on my disgusting posts. At least I have some audience... hehe

Another big thank you to Blogger. I appreciate the fact that these guys allow me to write all I want with no restrictions and a free sub domain. That's great!

I would have thanked all of my individual highest commentators. But I couldn't get the widget to work. So, just a big, humongous, gigantic thank you to everyone.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Game gone wrong!

It was a league match on a Sunday morning at my school. All the parents had come too. In fact, they were the only people sitting in the stadium. There were more empty chairs than the number of people in total. So, the scene was right from a boring day of lousy Cricket. All of them tried to be anxious, but most of them were dragged to the stadium. My parents had come since this was my first match ever. And was ultimately the last time I ever played Cricket.

I was playing for my school. Yup, I was on the team. The first batsman to open the innings.
How did I make it to the team? Well, I bribed my coach. Nah... they were forced to take me in as there weren't enough players.

My coach had a quick talk with me the previous day. "Look, we are taking you in because there aren't enough players. Even though you are horrible at the game, at least you can hold up the bat unlike others..."
Now, I wanted to know who those others were. Somebody was worse than me? Wow!

Anyways, everyone knows that kids don't have a good aim. They can really send the ball in an entirely wrong direction. So, I was standing there waiting to play the first ball of the game. I was chewing on my league's gum. Well, we had to pay for them. So it was a really stupid and a not so big league. The crowd made me feel like I was a big man. Even though they all looked like a pack of cows, mooing for no reason. Here, they were Oooing.

Finally, the bowler started his run. I opened up for a swing, not even following where the ball would go. It was either a shot outside the stadium or a couple of runs. I did forget to mention though, there was another option. The ball finally came charging. My eyes were closed and there, I swung my bat...

*Pop*

The ball was fallen next to my sneakers. Where did it collide?
Oh yeah. It collided with me. It hit me in the stomach. Not a bit lower, thank god! I collapsed. I could here a few chuckles here and there among players, but I could see all the parents were concerned.
The umpire immediately came up to me and then shouted,
"Don't worry guys. He's alright!"
You Idiot, I am the one hurt here. I don't think I am alright.

The next moment, I could see the guys giggling and cheering me up. As the umpire helped me stand up, the fielder threw the ball to the bowler. Unluckily, but to my happiness, the guy wasn't looking when the other guy threw the ball to him.

There was a big "Ouch" and many "Ting Tongs". To be exact, there were 6 Tings and 8 Tongs. The ball hit him, just below where I was hit...
The genius didn't realize that it was his own player who had accidentally nailed him. He thought it was one of the fools from my team!


Aha, Entertainment was just beginning!

The guy stormed to where my team was sitting. He managed to tackle a guy in the front. Then he punched my coach in the face. I enjoyed that punch, seriously. Everyone was abusing each other and then the parents arrived. Mine were still in disbelief as to what had happened...
Finally, the dream to hit a century ended at home.

Rumor was that the fight lasted for another 3 hours. Cops were called in but they thought it was a wrestling match in the open field and decided to watch, sitting in the unoccupied stadium!

P.S: The guy in the picture is not me. One such incident was enough to crush my cricketing career...

Monday, February 1, 2010

Arguing with Myself

The only person in the world I come close to arguing and winning is me. Though, the guy inside me always wins. Its him telling the right and me doing the big wrong.

So the other day, I got a message from my friend. One of our school buddy was in town and he wanted me to go meet him as he couldn't make it. Surprisingly, the guy lived just a few blocks away from where I lived. I couldn't walk that far. No way!
Alternative? Take my brother's bike.

My brother had an important appointment that day. So I had to sneak out of the house with his bike. Then I noticed the "E" on the gas gauge. That wasn't going to stop me. So I still took the bike.

I made my way to a huge apartment. I found his address stopped in several times without success. It took me almost 20 minutes of knocking and ringing the bell. But there was nobody inside.
Then, the guy inside me spoke, "Maybe you should check the address again."
"No way, I have memorized it perfectly."

The door finally opened. "Who is this?" - It was a voice that was convincing enough to check the address again. It was the wrong house. I could see my friend's house on the opposite side. There was a eerie figure by the door. It was a.... an old woman, well over her 80's. She was really upset. I had disturbed her while she was taking a nap. The yelling began. It took me way too long to convince her that it was a mistake. A few apologies and a sad face did the trick.

My friend's house was locked. Maybe he was still working at the local restaurant. I had enough money only for the fuel or for the food. The gauge was still on "E". The guy inside me spoke again, "No, get the fuel. You can always get lunch some other day."

I still decided to make it to the Restaurant.

There was a huge traffic congestion ahead of me. Due to the traffic, I had plenty of time to debate thoroughly and heatedly both sides of the issue at hand. This went on for about 15 minutes.
Finally, I submitted the evidence to God. "Oh God, I can't do both and I don't know which is the right one to do."
Blub came the reply, "Son, the traffic just cleared. Get moving and don't create another congestion!"

I finally reached the place. I asked the waiter about my friend. He said he would be arriving shortly. Meanwhile, I decided to have some food. Lunch was quicker than ever. The bill arrived too. I had enough money to pay for the food. But now, what was left with me wasn't even enough for a half candy.
I again asked about my friend. "Oh yeah, there he is..." The waiter pointed to a guy in his 30's. That can't be my friend. Did he have an age boost by drinking the wrong health drink? We both were the same age while we were kids. Nah, it couldn't be him. A serious interrogation with the gentleman confirmed, it wasn't him. They just had the same names!

The "E" on the gas gauge had now turned to an "Eeep". It was me. I had to push the vehicle all the way home. And there stood the angry "Lord Grumpy". Who else, my brother. He was really angry. Let's skip that part of the story...

As for the old woman, she did some awesome yelling. She had a lot of stamina to shout that good. I couldn't free myself from the grasp her words had on me.

As for the answer from God, maybe it wasn't him speaking. I guess it was the gentleman next to me on the road or the evil guy lurking inside me...