Thursday, April 29, 2010

School Bus Adventures

If going to School was the worst part of my Day, getting there was even more bad. My School Bus was a "Horror Mobile" with a ghostly driver and scary passengers.

I lived only a couple of miles away from School. But, I still took the bus. The driver was an intelligent chap. He was very old, couldn't see properly and was short on hearing.
I always greeted him with a "Good Morning!"
I did the greeting for a few more days with him not answering but another kid by the window saying a Good Morning.

I then decided to give waving a try. It worked! He would wave back everyday. Now that proved he was short on hearing.

Getting to the Bus was a huge task. Mr. Driver was intelligent and never waited for anybody. So one day, I missed the bus. I ran home, "Mom, I just missed the Bus."
"That's alright. You can walk to School. Its just 8 a.m."
"How about we do this? You get the car. Drive really fast. Manage to stop in front of the School Bus and I will get on."

The next moment, I was outside the house. She didn't think taking the Car was a good idea. I know, very lazy!

From the next day, I left home early. That was an issue since, I was waking up at the same time and taking a long bath. My mom packed a Sandwich in a foil. She wanted me to eat it while waiting at the Bus Stop.
You can find many weird people at this Shelter. Since, the Bus stopped a few meters before it, I decided to wait at the Stop.

Next to me was Mrs. Old Lady. I managed to take out my Sandwich and was eating. Now, people expect you to use a Knife and a Fork while eating. I loved playing with my food. This time it was "Godzilla returns!". The sandwich were people and I was eat them making noises. Get the picture?
I looked to my side only to find her staring at me.
"Good Morning!"
"Is that how you eat food?"
"Yup. Hands are easy to use."
"And how do you think are you going to wash them?"
"What are clothes for? Rub your hands on them and you're done."

Mrs. Old lady didn't say a thing. She continued staring at the road and moved away from me.

The Horror Mobile arrived and I got in. There was again the same Ghostly driver and the same waving. As I moved to my seat, I could see Mrs. Old Lady with her Mobile Phone. Maybe, she was calling the "Old People's Safety Department" to warn them about a Sandwich eating, Godzilla guy...

Monday, April 26, 2010

Hit with the Bat

The reason everyone thinks why I left baseball was because I couldn't hold the bat properly. My Coach always yelled at me, "Why can't you hold the bat properly?"
After a month he again said the same thing. But this time, it sounded like he was weeping.

After two months of determination, I was ready. I was finally holding the bat properly.
Though, there was another big task. This time it was catching. It took me a week. A day to wear the gloves properly!

This time my Coach said, "Are you sure you still want to continue?"
"Yup. I am ready for anything Sir!"

He was crying. Maybe, they were tears of joy.

Oh yeah, coming to the reason why I really left Baseball.
I was returning home after coaching one day. It was a beautiful evening. The sky was clear. The street was bustling with people. Everyone were smiling at me (Okay, that was scary). Anyways, everything was fine until I spoiled it.

I was waiting for the Traffic lights to change so that I could cross the road. It was a long wait. There were many others with me who were waiting. Among them were an Old lady, a small boy and his Mom. The Old lady looked like she was snoring. This only meant she was sleeping. As for the kid, he was rocking on his legs. His Mom was looking at me very suspiciously.

All of a sudden a car appeared from nowhere. It was coming quickly around the corner next to us. I knew something bad would happen next.
Have I mentioned I am a part time Superhero? Yup. That's a big secret. I get my powers when somebody is in danger. The task of saving the kid gave me my Powers.
Though, I wasn't given any weapons. No swords, no wands, no superhero costume, nothing!

Everything from now on, happened in slow motion. I flicked my arm out to save the boy. I forgot though, that this hand was holding the bat. It was just about to hit the boy when his mom transformed into Superhero.
She pulled the boy out of danger. My hand failed to stop. The bat hit the boy on the face and the woman on her leg. The boy cried and at the same time, the Car honked.
The honk scared me and I lost my balance. I fell on the Old Lady. She stopped snoring and was now screaming. Don't worry. She didn't fall down.

The red turned to green. Everyone walked except for the four of us. I lost my Superpowers and so could not fly home. The Old lady was very angry. Now, both the kid and his Mom were staring at me.

The three came home to complain. I tried to explain what had happened. The kid's Mom didn't seem to be convinced. The Old Lady wasn't sleeping this time. She was staring at me while drinking Coffee. They all left after my Mom apologized. Now, she looked at me suspiciously. Though, she didn't seem to understand why I had hit a small boy on the face with a bat!
That was the last time I played Baseball. A bat as a superhero's weapon is not a very good choice...

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Being Rude!

All my life, I have encountered many rude people. My Uncle, my dog, a cashier at the grocery store and the guy holding the Clipboard on the street, they have all been rude either to me or the people around them.

My Uncle - The rudest guy in the world. Once, he and his wife decided to come to our house. After some time, he dropped by my room and gave it a look. "Now I know where the Landfill is located!"
That was rude. My room always has things lying around. Socks, Dirty clothes, shoes, you name it! Though, it was still rude.

My Dad decided we would have dinner outside. A Restaurant had just opened near my house. So, we decided to give their food a try.
We were done eating and all the while, my uncle had a scary face. It would get scarier every time he took a bite.

Finally, the waiter came by and announced, "I hope you guys have enjoyed your meal. And guess what? You don't have to pay. This is a treat to you on our very first day."
My Dad seemed to be happy since he didn't have to pay anything. My Uncle though, called the waiter. "Thanks for the treat. Here.." He gave the guy money.
"I am sorry Sir. We won't accept any money today. I am not taking tips either."
"Son, this money isn't for you. This is to send your Chef to Culinary School."

The waiter left in a hurry without saying a thing.

Up next on the line of Rude people is my Dog. He's the baddest doggy you can come across. Ever! He is a co-owner of "Rude Doggy's Evil Inc."
He can do bad things and still remain out of trouble. He drags me during walks and barks at me when I give him his food. This either means, "That's all I get?" or "If something goes missing from that pack, you're going to be in a lot of trouble!"
The one extra rude thing he does is pee in my room. That's very very rude. There's so much space in my home, in the park and my neighbor's lawn. But, its always under a Coffee table, or the bed or someplace hard to find. All in my room.

Others on the rude people's list was the Clipboard guy. I always met him on the way back from School. I stopped. Turned the other way and ran. Even though, I was going the wrong way, it was the right thing to do.
I did the same thing for a week and he would stand at the same place all the time. So, I took courage and decided to face him. I managed to walk till him when he said, "You're not running away today?"
Now, that wasn't rude. But I would still say rude for standing at the same place everyday!

The last person on the list has been the Cashier at the Grocery store near my house. He always gave me looks while in the line. Once, I was at the store with my Mom. She stood in a different line and asked me to stand in another one.
It was finally my turn and I said him a Hello.
The guy while staring at the items in the cart said, "Yeah. Hello back to you. All this food is for you?"
"Actually no. There is Dog food which, I don't like!"

Some guy behind me laughed. Maybe that was enough to make Mr. Cashier mad. He started tossing all the items between the reader and then said, "There are many other varieties of Dog food here. You might like one."

Since then, the guy has always asked me the same question. In fact, everybody in the store knows me.
Famous? Not exactly. Even Mr. Cleaner asks if I have tried Pedigree.

Again the rude people. Maybe, being rude is a fun thing to do. I am going to give it a try. R-U-D-E. From now on, that's my middle name...(kidding)

Thursday, April 22, 2010

My Second Grade Horror

Second Grade was the best year in my ridiculous life of schooling.
I had this wonderful teacher, who told us lots of Fairy Tales and stories. He would mention some real life incidents too. Though, it was hard to differentiate between the two.

There was one, that had him going to the Mount Everest to learn kung fu from a guy having the Black belt.
What made it somewhat of a Fairy Tale was, an avalanche hitting them during training. Both of them deciding to continue their training while standing on it.
Even though, his stories were hard to believe, I enjoyed his classes.

But, it was soon enough that the best year changed into a bad one. A new student had joined our class. Her name was - I don't remember. But, I will call her Girl. Girl was very friendly and mingled with everybody well. I and Girl were good friends. So, our parents were friends too.

There was this one time when we were in the Park. I was pushing her on the swing. All of a sudden, I stopped it. Big mistake!
Girl left the swing and was airborne for a few seconds. She fell face first into the dirt.

She was shouting and lecturing me. I couldn't get a word she was saying. All I could hear was "Yelp". Again and again.
She still had her face in the dirt. I helped her up. Many people arrived and they took her to the Hospital.

She attended School the next day. Now, she had a White nose. Actually, the guys at the hospital, put a cast. She looked really funny and some guys laughed at her. I didn't. Even though, laugh was the first thing on my "To do" list.
I apologized to her, "I am really sorry about what happened yesterday. I didn't mean to stop the swing halfway."
"That's alright. But, why didn't you pick me up sooner?"
"I couldn't understand what you were saying. All I could hear was Yelp."
"Yelp? I was saying Help, you fool."

Maybe, her face stuck in the dirt caused the lack of hearing.

Anyways, it was a week after the accident. She still had the cast on. Then I remembered how my Brother had once broken his arm and everyone decided to sign on it. I mentioned it to Girl. She didn't seem convinced.

By midday, everyone were in the Playground. The teacher didn't send Girl as she felt, another Broken nose could be hard to fix. So, she was made to stay back in the classroom.
I got an evil brainwave. I decided to give her a surprise and dropped in. She was taking a nap. I silently wrote, "Get Well Soon!". Yup, on her nose.

It was only a minute since I left the room. Girl rushed to the Playground. She explained what had happened to my teacher. Both our parents were called.
None of them seemed to be worried. The marks on her nose came off. But the expression on her face didn't change.
I apologized to Girl, "I am sorry!"
All I got was a stare.

The Bully Queen from the WBF (World Bully Federation) had seen all of it. Girl was transformed into a Bully and given an ID that read - "I am a Bully!".
So, I was made to carry her schoolbag everyday. Do her assignments. Share my lunch with her. Actually, share all of my lunch with her.

After a few months of Bully influence, second grade was over. Girl's parents had to move someplace else. They decided to drop by our house for the last time. Girl still had the same expression. Her Goodbye was not Good at all.

One stupid brainwave had caused girl to transform into a Bully. I was happy Third grade would be Bully-free. Though, I managed to get one on the same bench...

Monday, April 19, 2010

Annual Cleaning Day!

Last Sunday was a horrible day. It was the "Annual Cleaning Day" of my room. Even though, it happens only once a year, I hated it.

My Mom forced me into cleaning my room. She said, "Okay. I guess its time you clean this mess up."
Mess? Those are cobwebs, dust and some dirty clothes. They aren't mess. I tried telling her that. She didn't seem to be convinced and gave me looks.

And so, began the cleaning. I got all my clothes back in the Wardrobe.
It was last year when a twister hit my room. I first, managed to wake up late. After brushing my teeth and taking a quick shower, I started finding my clothes.
Looking for them among the neatly stacked ones took time. Panic struck!
I started throwing away everything at the top, until I found the ones I needed. Unfortunately, they were at the bottom.
That was the day, I last saw them back in the wardrobe.

Once, I was done with that, I got back to the Living room.
My Mom was looking, "Done already?"
"Yup. Everything is clean now."
"Very good. I will have a look then..."

This was going to turn bad.

Within a minute I could hear, "You call this Clean?" echoing around the house. I was dragged to my room and then she explained, "Get rid of the dust, swab the floor, wash the curtains and please wash your blanket."
Now, that was a lot of work. I had to get to it though. At least, I didn't have to do this everyday. My brother cleans his room every week. Yeah, that's scary!

Dust was the first thing to remove. Its always found on two important places in my room. On my desk and on the Windows. The layer of dust helps me build my creativity. I draw cows, pigs and mostly bunnies on them. I call them the "Dusty Animals". To be frank, they are the reason, I decided to take up Art!

Next up were the curtains. "Sunlight can be dangerous to your eyes". Having believed that, I have never moved them. I threw them in the Washing Machine. Now, that was easy.

The reason why she said "Please wash your blanket" is because she thinks its dirty. Its been exactly never since I have washed him. He was in blue when he arrived three years ago. Since then, he turned to brown and now white. I am attached to his stink. Too bad, its gone now. Boo hoo!
I was expecting the Blue to return. He's still white now. I wonder why?

The last thing on the list was Swabbing the floor. This was a boring job. I couldn't find a mop stick. The only alternative was my pet sponge, "Spongy". He's the guy with two eyes and a big mouth. I drew them when I was in the third grade.
He seemed to be pretty happy soaked in water. But once I was done, his eyes and mouth went missing. Boo hoo!
Though, surprisingly, there's a small nose now.

I called my Mom to the room and she was impressed. "Wonderful. Please clean yourself now."
Again the "Please" word. Though, I always take a bath. I do a quick shower as I campaign for "Don't waste Water".
I managed to get to my room. The twister struck again. Even though, I found my clothes, everything was outside now. I stuffed them back...

Friday, April 16, 2010

The School Newspaper

I wonder what my School was thinking when they decided to give a third grader the responsibility to do the "Comic Section" on the School Newspaper.

Everyone knew I was bad at Art. I was badder at Creativity. See, I am still bad at grammar!
Anyways, I was asked to fill in four Comedy strips based on four different imaginary characters.

I couldn't think of anyone but my Bench mate. So, "Bobo the Bully" was my first character. Along with Bobo was another kid. This kid was actually me. Yay!
Scene 1
: Kid and Bobo look at each other
Scene 2
: Bobo tries to attack Kid.
Scene 3
: Kid tickles Bobo.
Scene 4
: Kid tickles some more!
The End!

As for the other three Comic strips, I couldn't think of any. Though, my Brother was going to be in for sure. So, the "Adventures of Lord Grumpy" was next.
Scene 1
: Lord Grumpy stares at Kid.
Scene 2
: Kid throws a Water balloon at him.
Scene 3
: Lord Grumpy recovers from the attack
Scene 4
: Says, "Water cannot scare the stare out of me!"

I couldn't think of any more characters. Then, I had a vision. My next character would be "Dopey Dad".
Scene 1
: Kid plays around Dopey Dad with his Toy Truck.
Scene 2
: Dopey Dad with a large mouth yells, "Go to bed and take your truck with you!"
Scene 3
: Kid protests, "But, its just five in the evening."
Scene 4
: Dopey Dad with a larger mouth yells, "That's alright. I would have sent you to bed even if it was two in the afternoon!"

The fourth Comic strip had a scary heading - "Toxic Mom".
Scene 1
: Kid looks at his plate and shouts, "Oh my god. What's in my plate?"
Scene 2
: Toxic Mom says, "That's Toxic soup. Its made up of Spider legs and Stinky socks."
Scene 3
: Kid in a shock asks, "And why did you make that for dinner?"
Scene 4
: "Well, the house was filled with spiders and I was tired of doing laundry!"

Everyone in my class were laughing. Though, there were two people who didn't appreciate the Comic Strips.
One of them was my Teacher. She was shocked and left the class in a hurry.
The other was Bobo. Maybe, he didn't like the story that was based on him. I tried to convince him that he would get equal credit for contributing his name to the Cartoon. He punched me on the Nose.

I was called to the Principal's chamber by afternoon. Along with my teacher and the Principal, there were two others. On a closer look I realized, they were my parents!
My teacher had called them assuming they had something to do with "Dopey Dad" and "Toxic Mom"
"Your son drew these Cartoon strips for our School Newspaper!"
, said Mr. Principal.
"Well, we are really sorry if he's done something wrong."
"Wrong? Sir, I think you should have a closer look at the characters."

My dad looked at the first one and laughed. After looking at the other three, it looked like a Strawberry had got stuck in his throat. He kept trying to speak but couldn't get a word out!

My Mom spoke up and apologized. She even promised that she would look when I did my assignments.
So, not all the comic strips were published. Though, "Bobo the Bully" was put up. I spoke to Bobo about giving him credit. This time, he gave me a wedgie.
My Mom put me into Art Classes which turned bad. She expected something better than the "Toxic Mom" and "Dopey Dad"...

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Fortune Teller

I have always gone with the Fortune Telling Machine rather than a real Fortune teller. At least, the machine makes weird sounds and always gives me a fortune to be happy about.

I was once at a Carnival. My Family did not appreciate the idea of going to a Fortune teller. So, I was the only one on the adventure. As I roamed, I found the stall.
I was really excited and since I had some money, I was ready to go.

I entered the room and found a woman sitting in the dark. She had this glowing ball in front of her and the light revealed her face. She was very old and It looked like she had never combed her hair. And by "Never", I mean "Never, Ever, Ever".

She kept staring at me and then pointed to a seat. I still got the stares...
"And why are you staring at me?"
"I am looking. Looking into your future."
"My face tells the future? Wow. In that case, I should read it everyday while I look at the Mirror!"

The Old woman seemed to be angry.
"So, you seek a fortune?"
"Yup..."

She took my right hand and read my palm for a few minutes.
"Am I getting a fortune?"
"Patience my child!"

Some more minutes and she gave me the scary looks, "This is really hard, but here goes - You will live a long miserable life!"
"What?"
"Yes. I am sorry. But that is what your hand says!"
"How about my left hand. Maybe it talks about a long and not-so miserable life."
"No, It doesn't work that way..."
"How about the Crystal thingy?"
"Well, that won't be necessary. You palm says it all."

After some pleading and a sad face, she agreed to use the Crystal ball. Now, there were hair in front of her face and she shouted, "Oh Crystal ball. Show me! Tell me the Future."
The moment she said that, her hands reached down to a switch. The Ball started to glow. This was getting really suspicious, but exciting.
"Wow, the ball is glowing!"
"Yes. I see your future. Wrath and Misfortune. Though, a long life. But how will that help with so much suffering?"
"I still get the long life right?"
"Yes..."
"Not even a little happiness?"
"No..."
"Great. Oh yeah, about the Crystal ball why did it glow?"
"Son, this Ball is endowed with powers."
"Okay... And you got to see my miserable life on the other side of the ball?"

She looked even more scarier now.
"Yes. I saw your future to be fruitless, miserable and end in poverty. As I said, you will live a long yet sad and lonely life."
"You seem to be more of a Misfortune Teller than a Fortune one."

I laughed and expected the Old lady to join. Though, she didn't appreciate my joke. A guy was called over the phone who escorted me out of the stall. In other words, kicked me out.

So, I decided to include another career in my "To be when I am big" list. To be a Fortune teller, all you need is a Light Bulb, a Crystal Ball, a Fortune teller costume, a Security guard and a scary face with scarier hair.
I have none. But, my dog should be a great security guard. As for the costume, I will get one from my Mom's closet.
My Aquarium bowl should look like a crystal. Don't worry. The guy in it will be safe in a new home. As for the scary hair, no more haircuts for me. And by "No more", I mean "Never, Ever, Ever"...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Art Classes

Its been three days since I have blogged or even checked on any of your Blogs. Where was I? - In an Art Class.

Everyone at my home were shocked when I decided to join the classes. Art has never been my thing. I learned this when I once drew my teacher as his Farewell gift. He looked like a Zombie holding a piece of chalk and a Bat flying next to him.

Anyways, the classes were actually a seven day crash course. And the guy who invited me to it was my old Art Teacher. He was the same guy who had once said, "Son, you will never learn Art!"
I was upset and that made my ten year old hand paint his face.

The first day of the course dealt with Perception. We had to draw an Egg. Everyone was given an egg for reference.
I started off, but had problems making it egg shaped. Then, I looked at my teacher. The drawing was easier now. His head looked like an Egg, with some hair at the top.

It took me four hours to perfect one egg. The next assignment was drawing two eggs. I wasn't doing it again without a break. I decided to take a Power Nap. Though, it lasted for three hours. I did some Egg drawing towards the end.
My teacher was impressed.

Next day of the course had Nature in it. I decided to draw a Cow. Yeah, hit me on the head. Why didn't I choose a Tree?
Anyways, it took me twenty minutes to visualize the animal. "Now, never eat Cookies while thinking!"
I was done with the cow in an hour. The finished work looked like a Pig with black spots and a tiny tail.

After a lot of erasing, I got back to the paper. This time, the cow was going to look great. A few hours of painting and I was done.

"Sir, I am done!"

He looked at the drawing, "Very Good. The forest with a Goat."

"Aaaa... Exactly."
"There's a snake too!"

So, my Cow looked like a Goat and his tail was a snake. The forest was actually the desert.

Yesterday was the third day. We had Imaginative drawing. And I am really bad at that. We were each given a topic. I got, "What do you see outside your Room's Window?"
Now, that was a very difficult question. I couldn't recall having seen anything outside. Its been years since I have opened the curtains at my window. The Sun's rays can be very harmful!

So, I decided to draw using my Imagination. It took me over five hours to complete the window. I had half an hour to finish the buildings outside. I scribbled and we got a finished product.

"Nice. A window with many Boxes stacked outside."
"Well, those are Buildings."
"Oh... great! Son, I would suggest you to start from the Basics. Art is not your thing."

I was really upset. My hands were again ready. But this time, I didn't paint his face!

These three days were all boring and unproductive. All I could learn was Cookies are bad while imagining and I am not a good Artist.
All I managed to do was get the reference egg. God was looking when I stole it. So, it was crushed when I got home. Though, everything has its uses. I put it in my Brother's shoes!

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Scratched Laptop

A Laptop is a portable computer small and light enough to sit on a person's lap while in use.
A Scratched Laptop is the same with lots of scratches at the top.


Now, don't point your hands at me. I am Innocent. And the fact, that I am investigating this case, makes it even more convincing.

Detective Mr. Stupid solves The Case of the Scratched Laptop.


I last saw the laptop a week back. Since then, I haven't had even the slightest glimpse. My Brother had said me to stay 500 meters away from it. To prove my Innocence, I even showed everyone at home my fingernails. They aren't that big to scratch the laptop.


Anyways, getting to the suspects. I decided to ask my Parents some questions. Stares was all I got. Since, it wasn't safe, I decided to take on others.
My Parents - scratched off the list!

Just the previous day, my brother's friends had come along. This made them the next suspects. Weird Beard and Captain Monkey were first.

"When was the last time you guys saw the Laptop?"

"Aaaa... Laptop?"

"Can I have the cheese puffs in your Kitchen?"
, asked Captain Monkey.

"No. That is the last pack I have. And I am not going down the store for another one."

"Okay."

"Guys, the laptop?"

"Oh yeah. I saw it yesterday when your brother showed it to us."
, said Weird Beard.

"Can I get the Cheese puffs?"

This wasn't helping. So, I had to scratch off their names from the Suspects list. Captain Monkey got two Cheese Puffs.

Next was Mister Boo. I wanted to make the questioning very simple.

"When did you see my Brother's Laptop?"

Silence for a few seconds...

"Laptop... Your brother's purchased a Laptop?"

This wasn't helping either. He had seen the Laptop a couple of days back. I guess, he couldn't recall the incident. All I could do is Boo at Mr. Boo.

Tyson was the only guy left on the list. Now, if I questioned him, I would get into a lot of trouble the next time I took him for a walk. He would convince his other doggy friends to chase me around the park. He was off the list...

So, the suspect had to be my Brother. Yeah, I know. The climax is always surprising and interesting. When I said this to him, he didn't feel very convinced. He kicked me out of his room.

Even though, The Case of the Scratched Laptop remains unsolved, the Laptop was fixed today since it was covered by Accidental Insurance.
My brother mentioned this on the documents -

Reason for return - Laptop developed scratches all of a sudden!

The Company believed him...

Friday, April 2, 2010

April Fool's Day

Yesterday was the day marked for Practical jokes and everything that can cause embarrassment to others. And so, it was the greatest day of the year for me.

At first, I scared my Mom with a dangerous roach attack on our kitchen. She fell for it.

Next, I convinced my Dad that his Laptop was on fire. He ran to his room. Though, was back pretty soon yelling at me!


Up next, my brother. Oh yeah. I had to make this really good. He was working on his laptop.
"Hey, somebody is on the phone. He says, you guys were together in Baby Sitting sessions!"
They weren't Baby Sitters. I meant when they were babies.
He excitedly ran to the phone.
The Baby friend wasn't speaking anything. Just the Dial tone.
"April Fool's Day!"

I then scared him with a fake lizard.

When I was back home in the evening, my Brother came rushing. It was an Invitation.
"Here. Our Neighbor gave this to you."
"To me?"
"Yup. He wanted to invite everyone to a party. I need to complete my assignment. So you go!"
"Did he mention I was invited?"
"He sure did. It must have already started..."

Having believed everything, I decided to drop by his house.

There were many people inside. This I could hear from outside the house.
His wife opened the door. She looked a bit confused, but had me get in. She said, "Guys, this is my friend's son."
The guys never seemed to care, they continued speaking.

One guy heard it though. It was my neighbor. The man who has been on the top of my "People to Trouble" list and "Everyone who hates me" list.
He spoke like a robot, "Welcome"

The robot and his wife disappeared leaving me alone in the midst of annoying, speaking, talking and irritating people. So, I decided to get seated on the couch. Next to me was an Old lady.

"How are you son?"
"I am good. Thank you!"
"Its been so many years Johny. You sure have grown!"

She was speaking to me. But who was Johny?

"Ma'am, I am not Johny."
"Oh,
sorry. So how are you related to us?"
"Well, I am a neighbor."
"So, even friends were invited on a Family gathering?"

That gave me a big shock. I looked at the invitation again. It said, "We invite you to a Family Gathering!"
I was an uninvited guest.
That explained the Robot talk and the confused look. Any place was better than this one. I decided to give a lame excuse and leave.

My Brother was more than happy to come to my room and yell April Fool's Day! I scared him with the lizard.
After the party was over, I dropped by my neighbor's house and scared him with the fake lizard. This time, he was an angry robot...